u/FaithlessnessSea9672

i feel lonely and depressed. would like some company. im 18

i (18f) was raised in a muslim community and by a conservative family. i now see how much "social norms" and "honor" and that kinda shit affected me.

why do we shame ppl having one night stands and calling the girls a bitch for doing that? (and u could even be killed for that if ur the girl) like whats wrong if 2 adults consent to just have some fun time and cover their needs together. sex isnt like a holy moly magical thing. we are literally just some consciousness made by some atoms and floating in space in this temporary short time and worry about keeping sex for marriage??? because some insecure guy was scared that his girl would cheat on him so they made it a social rule and limit womens sexuality?

another mindset i got in : let the fuckk goooo. i was having expectations from ppl and trusting their promises. but turns out nothing is permanent in this life and u could lose anything and anyone. so you should just take everything as an "experience". just enjoy the moment, give and take at the same time, dont be obsessed if it ends well or finishes. if it ends its okay, there is another plenty of ppl in this world that could be compatible for me, and i had a good time and enjoyed with this person, so its a win. if it goes forever, its good already. if they cheat on me its okay i just lost someone valueless and had some fun.

or i was raised to be nationalist. i thought it'd be an honorable and beautiful thing if i died for my country or for my ppl. because social norms say that being altruistic and sacrificing for others is good. all my life i felt i should always be the one giving and sacrificing. social norms or the society dont give a fuck about me. fuck that i aint dying for noone. i used to think i'd die to save like a thousand or million ppl. now i changed my mind. i just got 1 single life and i want to enjoy it myself. if i die or sacrifice for others its not gonna benefit me. its just some "recognition" "validation" stuff when u be a hero. i dont need no ones validation or anyone to call me a good person or a hero. i know my worth. i'll be finally fucking selfish and prioritize myself.

ig many ppl wont agree to this but anyway:
i believe there is no "right" and "wrong". its just like nature when an animal eats and kills another animal, and when some ppl steal or kill other ppl. i dont mean i approve of that but we cant blame those ppl for acting that way. its just a result of their genetic build, traumas, experiences and all. if we had a super computer and we put all the information, atoms into it and copy ppl into there, we could like literally simulate our brains and everything working and literally see the future. like everything works under the physic laws its not something we cant calculate. this means there is no free will and just a chain of actions chemical electrical reactions causing one other. u can understand the craziest criminals with this system by digging into what caused them to be that way. it doesnt mean u sympathize with them, u just understand. its totally justified and normal in his brain. i hope i could express it in an understandable way.

what do u guys think? did u guys have stuff that u changed ur mind drastically about?