u/Fair_Imagination_715

I dont know how much mental anguish i can endure anymore. The only reason i stay alive is that i dont break my 9 years old, beautiful, talented, gifted kind soul daughter's heart.

She has so much potential and a promising future and i dont want my death to break her. I know she loves me deeply.

She always tells me "Dad, youre the best" and it breaks my heart that i cant find the strenght to be a better, more present father for her. I love her so much that i survive day by day just so she can have a father who said he didnt give up because life got cruel with him.

But everyday, i feel like i fade away. Its so hard just getting out of bed every FUCKING day just to do the same thing as yesterday and the day before. It also kills me when i see my coworkers just being happy and upbeat. How can they be happy like this? How do they do it ? Life is so dull under todays circumstances. Everything costs too much, everything is dull and yet they smile and laugh like everything is ok. I dont know how they do it, quite frankly.