u/Express-Play-4808

I (24F) was dating my ex (30M) for about a year and a half. Overall, the relationship was really good—not perfect, but healthy, supportive, and moving in the right direction. For the last 6 months, we were long distance.

We were invited to a bunch of his friends’ weddings, one being in Italy this summer. He had booked his trip, and I was going to book mine when he suddenly said he wasn’t sure if we’d “make it that far.” That led to a bigger conversation where he said he’d been having doubts for a few months and didn’t think we were a match.

This completely blindsided me. From my pov, things were improving, not falling apart. We shared similar values, got along well, and were both dating with serious intentions, even if we hadn’t talked about our future in depth. He also said relationships shouldn’t feel this hard but were long distance, only seeing each other once every month or two, so of course it wasn’t easy. I’ve done long distance before, but this felt different to me, he was worth the effort and I was vocal about that.

Kinda an a$$ move to invite me to Italy only to rescind the invite and then break up?? I asked him how long he would’ve kept these doubts to himself if Italy hadn’t come up, and what if his doubts had changed? What if I had “proved” his reasoning for doubts wrong. I was adamant that in relationships you work through it and not give up easily.

We both showed up for each other, but with him in residency, I was especially supportive and flexible—visiting him while finishing school and even planning to make bigger sacrifices after graduating because I really saw a future together. I was willing to work on things, both individually and in couples therapy. I kept trying, and it felt like instead of working through it, he chose to walk away. He said it was a hard decision and seemed genuine, but didn’t even give a clear explanation beyond saying we weren’t a match.

We had multiple conversations that went in circles, so I feel like I didn’t get real closure. I know I shouldn’t rely on this but part of me still hopes he’ll realize he messed up and reconsider.

I’m trying to understand how something that felt stable and meaningful could suddenly be labeled as incompatible, especially without a clear reason. It felt more like his internal doubts rather than actual relationship problems.

It’s been about 2 weeks, and I really miss him. We weren’t just in a relationship, but were genuinely best friends too, which makes it harder. Part of me wants to reach out, but I’m not sure if that’s the right move or if I should just leave it be. I know no contact is recommended for a reason, but life is too short not to try at all.

At the same time, the fact that he was able to walk away like this, makes me wonder if that could happen again down the line even though I would’ve been willing to work through it. I know he’s probably exhausted from everything, but I’m really struggling to let go. I’ve been in relationships before, but this one felt different. I don’t feel ready to give up, but I don’t want to push or force anything. I just feel stuck and unsure what to do.

I (24F) was dating my ex (30M) for about a year and a half. Overall, the relationship was really good—not perfect, but healthy, supportive, and moving in the right direction. For the last 6 months, we were long distance.

We were invited to a bunch of his friends’ weddings, one being in Italy this summer. He had booked his trip, and I was going to book mine when he suddenly said he wasn’t sure if we’d “make it that far.” That led to a bigger conversation where he said he’d been having doubts for a few months and didn’t think we were a match.

This completely blindsided me. From my pov, things were improving, not falling apart. We shared similar values, got along well, and were both dating with the intention of something serious, even if we hadn’t talked in depth about our future. He also said that relationships shouldn’t feel this hard. We were long distance, only seeing each other once every month or two, so of course it wasn’t easy. I’ve done long distance before, but this felt different to me, he was worth the effort and I was vocal about that.

Kinda an a$$ move to invite me to Italy only to rescind the invite and then break up?? I asked him how long he would’ve kept these doubts to himself if Italy hadn’t come up, and what if his doubts had changed? What if I had “proved” his reasoning for doubts wrong. I was adamant that in relationships you work through it and not give up easily.

We both showed up for each other, but with him in residency, I was especially supportive and flexible—visiting him while finishing school and even planning to make bigger sacrifices after graduating because I really saw a future together. I know I’m not perfect, but I was willing to work on things, both individually and in couples therapy. I kept trying, and it felt like instead of working through it, he chose to walk away. He said it was a hard decision and seemed genuine, but didn’t even give a clear explanation beyond saying we weren’t a match.

We had multiple conversations that went in circles, so I feel like I didn’t get real closure. I know I shouldn’t rely on this but part of me still hopes he’ll realize he messed up and reconsider.

Now I’m trying to understand how something that felt stable and meaningful could suddenly be labeled as incompatible, especially without a clear reason. It felt more like his internal doubts rather than actual relationship problems.

It’s been about 2 weeks, and I really miss him. We weren’t just in a relationship, but were genuinely best friends too, which makes it harder. Part of me wants to reach out, but I’m not sure if that’s the right move or if I should just leave it be. I know no contact is recommended for a reason, but life is too short not to try at all, and just walk away.

At the same time, the fact that he was able to walk away like this, makes me wonder if that could happen again down the line even though I would’ve been willing to work through it. I know he’s probably exhausted from everything, but I’m really struggling to let go. I’ve been in relationships before, but this one felt different. I don’t feel ready to give up on it, but I don’t want to push or force anything. I just feel stuck and unsure what to do.

I (24F) was dating my ex (30M) for about a year and a half. Overall, the relationship was really good—not perfect, but healthy, supportive, and moving in the right direction. For the last 6 months, we were long distance.

We were invited to a bunch of his friends’ weddings, one being in Italy this summer. He had booked his trip, and I was going to book mine when he suddenly said he wasn’t sure if we’d “make it that far.” That led to a bigger conversation where he said he’d been having doubts for a few months and didn’t think we were a match.

This completely blindsided me. From my pov, things were improving, not falling apart. We shared similar values, got along well, and were both dating with the intention of something serious, even if we hadn’t talked in depth about our future. He also said that relationships shouldn’t feel this hard. We were long distance, only seeing each other once every month or two, so of course it wasn’t easy. I’ve done long distance before, but this felt different to me, he was worth the effort and I was vocal about that.

Kinda an a$$ move to invite me to Italy only to rescind the invite and then break up?? I asked him how long he would’ve kept these doubts to himself if Italy hadn’t come up, and what if his doubts had changed? What if I had “proved” his reasoning for doubts wrong. I was adamant that in relationships you work through it and not give up easily.

We both showed up for each other, but with him in residency, I was especially supportive and flexible—visiting him while finishing school and even planning to make bigger sacrifices after graduating because I really saw a future together. I know I’m not perfect, but I was willing to work on things, both individually and in couples therapy. I kept trying, and it felt like instead of working through it, he chose to walk away. He said it was a hard decision and seemed genuine, but didn’t even give a clear explanation beyond saying we weren’t a match.

We had multiple conversations that went in circles, so I feel like I didn’t get real closure. I know I shouldn’t rely on this but part of me still hopes he’ll realize he messed up and reconsider.

Now I’m trying to understand how something that felt stable and meaningful could suddenly be labeled as incompatible, especially without a clear reason. It felt more like his internal doubts rather than actual relationship problems.

It’s been about 2 weeks, and I really miss him. We weren’t just in a relationship, but were genuinely best friends too, which makes it harder. Part of me wants to reach out, but I’m not sure if that’s the right move or if I should just leave it be. I know no contact is recommended for a reason, but life is too short not to try at all, and just walk away.

At the same time, the fact that he was able to walk away like this, makes me wonder if that could happen again down the line even though I would’ve been willing to work through it. I know he’s probably exhausted from everything, but I’m really struggling to let go. I’ve been in relationships before, but this one felt different. I don’t feel ready to give up on it, but I don’t want to push or force anything. I just feel stuck and unsure what to do.