u/ExplanationWestern51

Advice needed. I feel like me being open ruined everything.

I have a close guy friend that I have had a "crush" on for 10+ years start flirting with me over text. We live in different states now so I knew it wasn't going to be anything serious. I have lost 120 pounds in the past year. So it started as him telling me how amazing I looked and then the comments turned a lot more sexual. I have gained some confidence with my weight loss so I flirted back.

He brought up the idea of flying out to see me in a couple of weeks. Of course, I got excited. We chatted all day but never set anything in stone. Our chats ended on a good note. But then I didn't hear back for a couple of days. So I reached out and sort of confessed that I had always had a bit of a thing for him and that I would really love it if he could make it out to see me.

He got really defensive and it wasn't fair for me to put my feelings out there when I know how much he is going through right now (he is going through a divorce). Then he said he didn't want to hurt me but needed to step back.

I was completely caught off guard by this. He is the one that initiated everything. And brought up the idea of coming to see me. I feel like I did something wrong. It's been a week now and I am still confused and hurting.

Why did he do this?

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u/ExplanationWestern51 — 3 days ago

A long time friend (10+ years) started flirting over text. It escalated from there. Neither one of us are in a position for anything serious. He brought up the subject of us seeing each other in a couple of weeks but didn't elaborate on when. After not hearing from him for a couple of days, I texted and told him that I would love for us to make it happen and how excited I was for the possibility. He texted back and said that it wasn't fair of me to put my feelings out there when he is dealing with so much and that he didn't want to hurt me but he needed to take a step back. I texted back that it did hurt, a lot, but I understand. I was completely caught off guard by this. I have been giving him space but he is watching and liking the IG stories that have pics of me. Something he never did before. Am I reading too much into this? Giving it meaning when it has none. I feel like I need to reach out. Not only to see if the connection is still there but to salvage our friendship.

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u/ExplanationWestern51 — 7 days ago