It’s been a week today since my boyfriend (now ex I guess) told me he wanted to break up with me/needs a break. I’m not a great person. I know that. I’ve said things that have made him feel disrespected. I’ve said he doesn’t care when I know he does. I made a promise to be more social with my roommate and I didn’t follow up. I know that I’m in the wrong and this is all on me. I know that and I have to carry that with me. He said he just wanted time but he still wants to talk. In his words, he asked if he could ‘not say goodbye’ because he still wants to talk to me. This was after I said I didn’t want to not be with him. It’s killing me inside and idk what to do. It’s been a week today. I’ve been trying to give him space. I tried not to initiate conversations until the last couple of days. Our conversations are short when we do have them. And he doesn’t say much. He never really said much before if I’m being honest. That’s just how he is. But it’s different now. I’ve tried to call 3 times in the last week. All being really in the last few days. He answered once and said he couldn’t talk cause he was with friends. Understandable. But he said he can call me back and never did. I stayed up til about 3am last night waiting, hoping to get a call. But I knew I wouldn’t. He went out with his friends. I have no right to bother him… we’ve been long distance since the beginning. He’s in Cali for work for the summer and it’s a 3 hour time difference now for us so it’s been hard to communicate since he left. The time difference does not help at all. My schedule has me asleep kinda early and him still working. It’s been a real sore spot. For me anyways. Idk what to do and I just want to talk to him about it all. But I’m also trying to respect his boundaries and give him time. I’m just worried that he found someone else before all this, has found someone or will find someone else. He isn’t like that tho and I don’t think he would ever do anything like that to me. As I would never do that to him. He is the kindest soul I know and I love him more than I can put into words. I haven’t seen him in months and I’ve really been struggling. Even more so this past week. I’ve thought about getting back into therapy with my therapist. I haven’t talked to them in a couple years now. I love and miss him more than anything right now and I am physically sick over all of it. I haven’t really talked to anyone at all about this except my mom and we all know moms say what will make us feel better. Well sometimes. Mine also will be very real and say things that hurt. Anyways. I just need advice. He is off today and I really want to talk to him but I don’t want to make anything worse. This is kinda vague and I don’t think he’s on Reddit or any of his friends either. Not that I even care. I know I’m wrong. I just want advice from people who don’t know us. Oh and I’m 22 and he’s 24 about to be 25. So we’re also young and changing (his words also). Please be sorta kind but honest. I’m really beating myself up right now and I don’t have a good feeling about any of it.
u/Expensive_Escape_40
It’s been a week today since my boyfriend (now ex I guess) told me he wanted to break up with me/needs a break. I’m not a great person. I know that. I’ve said things that have made him feel disrespected. I’ve said he doesn’t care when I know he does. I made a promise to be more social with my roommate and I didn’t follow up. I know that I’m in the wrong and this is all on me. I know that and I have to carry that with me. He said he just wanted time but he still wants to talk. In his words, he asked if he could ‘not say goodbye’ because he still wants to talk to me. This was after I said I didn’t want to not be with him. It’s killing me inside and idk what to do. It’s been a week today. I’ve been trying to give him space. I tried not to initiate conversations until the last couple of days. Our conversations are short when we do have them. And he doesn’t say much. He never really said much before if I’m being honest. That’s just how he is. But it’s different now. I’ve tried to call 3 times in the last week. All being really in the last few days. He answered once and said he couldn’t talk cause he was with friends. Understandable. But he said he can call me back and never did. I stayed up til about 3am last night waiting, hoping to get a call. But I knew I wouldn’t. He went out with his friends. I have no right to bother him… we’ve been long distance since the beginning. He’s in Cali for work for the summer and it’s a 3 hour time difference now for us so it’s been hard to communicate since he left. The time difference does not help at all. My schedule has me asleep kinda early and him still working. It’s been a real sore spot. For me anyways. Idk what to do and I just want to talk to him about it all. But I’m also trying to respect his boundaries and give him time. I’m just worried that he found someone else before all this, has found someone or will find someone else. He isn’t like that tho and I don’t think he would ever do anything like that to me. As I would never do that to him. He is the kindest soul I know and I love him more than I can put into words. I haven’t seen him in months and I’ve really been struggling. Even more so this past week. I’ve thought about getting back into therapy with my therapist. I haven’t talked to them in a couple years now. I love and miss him more than anything right now and I am physically sick over all of it. I haven’t really talked to anyone at all about this except my mom and we all know moms say what will make us feel better. Well sometimes. Mine also will be very real and say things that hurt. Anyways. I just need advice. He is off today and I really want to talk to him but I don’t want to make anything worse. This is kinda vague and I don’t think he’s on Reddit or any of his friends either. Not that I even care. I know I’m wrong. I just want advice from people who don’t know us. Oh and I’m 22 and he’s 24 about to be 25. So we’re also young and changing (his words also). Please be sorta kind but honest. I’m really beating myself up right now and I don’t have a good feeling about any of it.
Edit to add: completely forgot to add this. My bad. And it honestly makes the situation kind of worse. At least to me anyways. His brother is getting married at the end of June. So like in a little less than 2 months. I had ordered a try on dress and ended up ordering a second one bc I could make up my mind. But with try ons you only have a limited time. When this all went down I was nearing the very very end of my limit with the first dress and I had asked if I should return it. He didn’t outright say yes or that I was absolutely not coming to the wedding but it was implied in my opinion. So that’s what makes it seem more of a finality to me.