u/Expensive_Disk_5851

My husband and I are recently separated after 12 years. Mostly due to alcohol and that he would get angry and hostile with my teen son when drinking and then he got a DUI while I was out of town. He has been sober since the DUI. He asked me if he could take me to lunch and a movie and then come to the house and do honey-dos for Mother's Day this weekend. I love the idea but am getting anxiety about the son who is still very hurt by husband's behavior. Im wavering because on one hand Mother's day is my day and it would be helpful as well as show the kids that we are trying to support each other. On the other hand I dont want tension and stress between husband and son. Advice on treading these waters?

This past weekend my daughter and I were out of town on a Girl Scout trip (i'm the leader). We left on Friday and coming home Sunday. Friday night I got a couple calls from him but couldn't talk long because girl scouts. Saturday he called almost every 2 hours all day. Still couldn't talk much. But throughout the day you could hear his voice get progressively more slurred. About 7:30 Saturday evening we talked and I heard like white noise in the background and asked where he was. He just said driving. I told him that if I can tell hes been drinking over the phone then a cop will be able to tell face to face and he should probably go home. Didn't hear from him the rest of the night. 6:15 Sunday morning I wake up to a call from an 800 number. Knowing that this is likely a call from jail, I answered. It was. But it was in a town 3.5 hours away. He went to see a female friend he has known a while. He arrived about 10pm and left about 4am. He swears it wasn't an affair but I dont know if I can trust him. He's that guy that's "going to start therapy" and "will only drink beer on the weekends" and "doesn't need rehab he can just kick it." And if there is ever any follow through it's short lived. We have been together for 13 years and he has been clean off drugs for 16 years and I really thought this was behind him in his recovery. Its devastating. I dont know what I can trust. This is a chick he did drugs with back in his drug days and if it's not an affair im worried it's a bigger relapse than I am realizing.