How to heal from limerence as a neurodivergent person
So I want to start with a T. I met him in January this year and I developed feelings for him within that same month (I know it was quick and limerence had to do with it). He was one of nicest guys encountered after the whole rejection thing last year. So I kept pursuing conversations with him but I noticed that he kept it short and cordial. I started protect my insecurities silently and internally telling myself that he was not into me because I was ugly and not his type. Mind you I had experienced alot of rejection from guys and what supported this thoughts was that the bookstore was in a town that had palpable racism. So I confessed my feelings to him and I said that I wanted to get to know him. He responded that he was flattered but he had a fiancée but I would be a great person to know and I shouldn't let that stop that visiting the store. Which was relieving bc I knew that I was going to get rejected and that my feelings would fade away. Few months later we met up again and spoke cordially to each other but I was aware that I needed not to cross any boundaries of his or mine out of respect of his relationship and my self respect. However feelings started to come back but I tried so hard to get rid of it I went on a whole spiral of having unrequited love in July and earlier this month and cried my eyes out. I started to coalesce myself again and deactivated my Instagram to prevent anything from reminding myself of him but activated my account again bc I did not want my account to disappear. So I viewed my followers stories and I saw him in it and I went back to spiraling, crying again about unrequited love, me being a floater friend and never having a good relationship in my past 20 years of living. Fast forward to now, we are acquainted with each other and very cordial but I still have residual feelings. What should I do