u/Excellent_Thing7383

I'm wanting to try and open a conversation with my MIL about how our tense relationship is really affecting me as I've always got my guard up when visiting or seeing her and my FIL which is so draining and not good for my DD either. My SIL originally planned a camping holiday in Cornwall for MIL's birthday which would be my ps'IL, SIL and husband and me and my husband however she and her husband have now pulled out after realizing it will be too much for them and their 3 month old. My SIL has always been good in helping with what to say when things get tense with my MIL or if she says something out of line but now that she won't be there I am really dreading it.

I had a good relationship with my MIL up until the birth of my DD when she act as if she had a right to our DD, she wouldn't respect boundaries even small ones and would make me feel bad in order to get her own way. When me and my DH finally started putting our foot down she would play the victim, crying and saying that I didn't like her in order to try and manipulate my husband and I. My DD is now 1 and the relationship is still very tense as I really feel that the things she did affected my post partum experience and obviously affects me now when seeing her. I really tried to just let it go and I try to have as normal of a relationship with her as I can but it is just so tense and I feel so emotionally drained after seeing her.

I'm now pregnant with our second and am already worried about that post partum experience even though me and DH will be sending out all of our boundaries before hand so that no one has an excuse.

As I said we're supposed to be going on holiday with my ps'IL and due to the tense relationship with my MIL I really want to try and sort this out before we go otherwise I just won't enjoy the 'holiday' and won't want to be there altogether. I was hoping to have me and my DH sit down with my ps'IL to have an open conversation just explaining how I feel and how the things MIL did made me feel and how I really want to put this behind us so that it's not so tense, I know she also feels the tension also. However I have seen lots of people say not to even try because it just makes things blow up and end up worse than before or even cutting ties with MIL which I'd rather avoid. Has anyone successfully managed to have this conversation with their MIL or DIL? Do you think I should just have the conversation anyway because at this point it's so draining for me and my DH?

Any input would be helpful, TIA

I'm wanting to try and open a conversation with my MIL about how our tense relationship is really affecting me as I've always got my guard up when visiting or seeing her and my FIL which is so draining and not good for my DD either. My SIL originally planned a camping holiday in Cornwall for MIL's birthday which would be my ps'IL, SIL and husband and me and my husband however she and her husband have now pulled out after realizing it will be too much for them and their 3 month old. My SIL has always been good in helping with what to say when things get tense with my MIL or if she says something out of line but now that she won't be there I am really dreading it.

I had a good relationship with my MIL up until the birth of my DD when she act as if she had a right to our DD, she wouldn't respect boundaries even small ones and would make me feel bad in order to get her own way. When me and my DH finally started putting our foot down she would play the victim, crying and saying that I didn't like her in order to try and manipulate my husband and I. My DD is now 1 and the relationship is still very tense as I really feel that the things she did affected my post partum experience and obviously affects me now when seeing her. I really tried to just let it go and I try to have as normal of a relationship with her as I can but it is just so tense and I feel so emotionally drained after seeing her.

I'm now pregnant with our second and am already worried about that post partum experience even though me and DH will be sending out all of our boundaries before hand so that no one has an excuse.

As I said we're supposed to be going on holiday with my ps'IL and due to the tense relationship with my MIL I really want to try and sort this out before we go otherwise I just won't enjoy the 'holiday' and won't want to be there altogether. I was hoping to have me and my DH sit down with my ps'IL to have an open conversation just explaining how I feel and how the things MIL did made me feel and how I really want to put this behind us so that it's not so tense, I know she also feels the tension also. However I have seen lots of people say not to even try because it just makes things blow up and end up worse than before or even cutting ties with MIL which I'd rather avoid. Has anyone successfully managed to have this conversation with their MIL or DIL? Do you think I should just have the conversation anyway because at this point it's so draining for me and my DH?

Any input would be helpful, TIA