u/Evening-Butterfly281

honestly man, idk anymore I’m such a failure and I know this is what your supposed to tell yourself I’m 18 yrs old and am graduating soon it’s finally time for this to happen ngl and it’s supposed to be a happy time and I was ready at first. I had everything planned out and things were gonna go well for me I was gonna leave to be a marine but something happened that made me no longer qualify and the one thing I’ve wanted to do my entire life is gone and I had no backup plans because I was so sure this would work and its gone. I’m scared I’ll be stuck working a dead end job and I also fell back into smoking weed ti mask the pain. I need to get surgery on my knee. females constantly lead me on and only talk to me or hangout with me when someone “better than me” leaves them so I’m just a backup an a rebound for when they need someone and ngl it’s okay yk why. it’s life but I have 0 help from my parents as well with anything financially I have to pay so much for rent too them and idk how I will afford surgery or anything and I’m not angry abt any of this in sad, I’ve no energy to do anything I just want all the pain to go away.

Everyday I’ve felt so empty for so long my life is so pointless yes I can laugh and talk and work an pay my bills. But what’s the point if I’m not rlly happy, I get I’ve made mistakes and have done wrong an for the past 2 yrs all I’ve done is try and try to do and be better an work harder that work gets me nowhere. Why is it that no matter how much effort I put into something ppl see me as the same person I was so long ago. I was gonna be a marine and I pushed to hard the one thing I’ve dreamed about for too long is gone bc I tried so hard to prove myself to myself that I could be good enough for once I messed up my body right before leaving and now I’m stuck in this hole that I’ve been stuck in that I can’t get out of and it isn’t fair because I’m trying too hard

ok I won’t be saying any names in this just rlly need help figuring this out it’s really confusing and I’m not good at this type of stuff anyways considering I’ve never been in a relationship before. so for about a month and half I’ve been talking too this girl and I feel it’s been going very well. Last night was our senior prom and last minute I decided to show up maybe a few days I decided too because she had said she wanted me to go and would be upset if I didn’t, so I did with the help of friends supporting with the payments, we spent all of prom together, we talked we danced, held hands, hugged just had a good time overall complimented each other an we both said it was rlly fun, now a mistake I made was not telling her how I really feel when i should’ve. so the next morning we’re texting and I just had to tell her that I liked her an that we should go hangout sometime. Now mind this we’ve been talking for a bit of time and I rlly thought things were going well. it takes her time to reply after I send the message about 3-4 hours and she tells me essentially that she’s not ready for another relationship right now and. so I said that’s completely okay and I understand 100% and apologized for randomly bringing it up. she told me there was no need to apologize. her exact wording after that was. don’t think I don’t feel the same way. and we continued talking normally afterwards and plan to go out sometime soon. it’s just very confusing because she basically said she likes me and didn’t reject me but also didn’t say yes, but at the same time if you weren’t ready why did we do all that at prom which mostly she initiated it. honestly I just need advice on what should be done I have 0 experience in any of this and it’s really stressful and frustrating because I like this girl a lot and I really want it too work out in the end but I’m scared of getting hurt because I haven’t felt like this about a person ever.