My best friend (late 20s, let's call her R) and I have been close for 13 years. Over time we grew into very different people. Her conversations were mostly about celebrity gossip and people's appearances, and whenever I tried to go deeper she'd call it boring. However, I stayed because of our history.
Three years ago, we went on a trip together and it was a disaster. She threw a fit on day one because she didn't like the photos I took of her, gave me the silent treatment for basically the entire trip, and on the way home got upset that I couldn't give her an instagram caption because I was answering a work message. We didn't speak for three months after. I decided I'd never travel with her again.
So when she invited me to Thailand I hesitated. But it had been three years. I gave it the benefit of doubt that people grow, and this time her sister would be coming too, so it wouldn't be just us. Before agreeing I asked her multiple times if she's sure about the trip, and if she's sure about bringing her sister. She said yes confidently every time. I went in with good faith but made one promise to myself: I was going to enjoy this trip no matter what, since this was my first international trip.
For context, R and her sister have a complicated history. But R chose to invite her, so I had no reason to think talking to her would be an issue. Within the first hour of the trip, I was having a conversation with the sister. R wasn't joining in and just shut down, silent treatment, one word answers, visible irritation.
I later pulled her aside to check in and she started shouting, asking why I was vibing with her sister and why I couldn't be normal since I'm usually such an aloof person. I tried to console her. It didn't work. She stayed cold and passive aggressive for the rest of the trip. After a point, I stopped trying to manage her mood and just enjoyed the trip.
On the day we flew home I got the news that my grandmother had passed away. I was crying at the airport. R was there and saw everything. The next day she ended our 13 year friendship over text. Knowing I had just lost my grandmother.
My honest first reaction was relief. I think I'd outgrown this friendship long before Thailand. The trip just made it impossible to ignore. But I've been sitting with whether I handled things on the trip the way I should have. AITA?