My toaster has a specific vendetta against sourdough
I’ve had the same basic toaster for three years, and for the most part, we have a respectful, professional relationship. It toasts white bread, bagels, and even frozen waffles with predictable, mediocre results. But lately, I’ve started buying sourdough, and suddenly it’s like I’m living with a moody teenager. If I set it to "3," the bread comes out looking exactly like it did when it went in, just slightly warmer and more disappointed. If I nudge the dial even a fraction of a millimeter toward "4," the toaster decides it's time for a Viking funeral and turns the slice into a literal charcoal briquette.
This morning, I tried to outsmart it by hovering my hand over the lever, ready to manually eject the toast at the perfect moment. I got distracted by a bird outside for maybe five seconds, and by the time I looked back, the kitchen was filled with a thin layer of smoke and my breakfast was ruined. I ended up scraping the burnt bits into the sink with a butter knife like I was performing some kind of sad culinary archeology. I’m starting to think this toaster just doesn't respect my lifestyle choices.