I’ve heard a lot of men say they wish women would approach more and that it would take pressure off them and save them from constant rejection. I understand that.
But in practice, it doesn’t feel like it actually improves women’s chances.
I’ve initiated conversations multiple times—in person (at the gym, in lines) and online (adding on IG, sending DMs). These are regular guys around my age with my job/life, not influencers or people wildly out of my league.
And consistently, the response has been… lukewarm at best.
They don’t seem excited. Conversations stay short, or they don’t engage at all online which usually tells me they’re not interested. It feels extra-embarrassing to take on the masculine role of initiating.
I approach these men with openness, I am open to being friends, acquaintances or partners depending on how the conversation goes.
So it makes me wonder: do men genuinely want women to approach? Or do they only want it from women they already find highly attractive?
Because right now, it feels less like ‘we want to be approached’ and more like ‘we want it to be easier when we’re already interested.’