Context:
my parents have been married 22 years, and argue a lot about everything It seems like. I moved away for college, and both my parents are visiting together for the first time since I moved in 2022. They both love to complain to me about the other unfortunately. Today I graduated with my bachelors degree, with my mom, dad, and husband In attendance.
today’s events :/
it feels like my mom couldn't put away her marital issues for 2-3 hours during my college graduation.
I remember her coming to my apartment with an already offputting energy. I knew I had a lot to do to get ready, and she immediately went into whatever argument happened this morning between them. I remember expressing that I had a lot to do and didn't really want to hear about it on my graduation day (we needed to leave within 10-15 mins). From there, I don't remember her speaking to me at all. No congrats, no I'm proud of you, not even a smile the entire time. Should I have been kinder when expressing that I didn’t want to talk about it? Yes. Did I deserve to feel like my own mother wasn't happy to be at my ONLY college graduation? No.
Feelings come and go, but memories remain. And today, despite this amazing accomplishment of mine, all I can think about is that my mom couldn't even smile at me. College was so hard for me. I got diagnosed halfway through and had such poor mental health, so this was a huge milestone for me as not only an AuDHD woman but a first gen student as well.
And I don’t feel like I can bring it up either. I'd have to choose my words too carefully, and probably deliver poorly, but my feelings are genuinely so hurt. Idk what to do. Even my husband (who was sitting with my parents) said that he was getting frustrated because she didn’t seem happy for me at all and he felt like she was wrongfully taking out her feelings on me too. What can I even do? They are still in town for multiple more days, but I can’t act like everything is fine after this…