There's a guy that I developed a crush on over the time of working with him for a few years. I'm 26F and didn't have any previous relationship experience but I really enjoyed his company and I would often start conversations with him, ask him about his weekend and what he was doing in his free time and talk to him about work stuff too.
I opened up to him and showed a genuine interest in things he would say. And I would talk about shared interests that we both had, but if there was ever another girl/girls from work around around he would always focus more on talking to the other girls and asking them opinions on stuff and he wouldn't really want to listen to what I had to say. He would do this with all the other girls at work and I would be the only one he would act unusually with-he'd be friendly enough when we were alone but disinterested when others were around. I would bring up watching a programme we both liked and then he would just flip the conversation straight away to something else that he could talk about with the other girl. Or he would ask others about personal stuff then not ask me.
Even though he was like this, I kept trying with him as I thought if I continued to talk to him he'd at least like me as a friend. I was always myself around him and I would start lots of conversations with him and be really friendly, when he was just polite with me and if he ever initiated any topics it would always be work-related. He continued being more engaging with others, wanting to know all about them and being more interested in what they would have to say.
I'm looking back now and thinking that it went on like this for almost a year and I feel like maybe I was in the wrong for being like this with him. I thought I was being nice and socialising with him-I never flirted. But maybe he just thought I was being annoying. I brought up shared interests and tried to look my best whenever I saw him but maybe he just thought I was an insufferable pick-me.
I don't know whether I was in the wrong for trying with him. He always preferred talking to all the other girls at work so I feel like maybe I should feel guilty that I continued trying to talk to him when maybe he just didn't want to talk, because whatever I did or said was never going to be the right thing as he didn't even like me back as anything more than an acquaintance he had to be polite to.
Maybe he sensed that I liked him even though I didn't flirt and now I feel bad because if that is the case, maybe we can't even be friends as he might not feel comfortable enough around me if he had any feeling that I was into him. It would have been nice if he had a crush on me back, but I would have been happy if he at least liked me as much as he liked all the others at work.