Does any of you also have difficulties getting along with SJ types?
Does any of you also have difficulties getting along with some SJ types (ESTJ, ISTJ, ESFJ, ISFJ), especially when they’re unhealthy, rigid, or highly stressed?
I’ve noticed that I usually connect very naturally with NF types (INFP, ENFP, INFJ, ENFJ) and often NT types too (INTP, ENTP, INTJ, ENTJ), because I love psychological depth, abstract conversations, questioning assumptions, exploring possibilities, and understanding people beneath the surface.
But with some SJ types (not all, most:D, maybe healthy SJs can actually be amazing and grounding but I have no experience with them), I sometimes feel a strong value clash.
As an ENFP, I really value:
- freedom
- authenticity over appearances
- individuality over social scripts
- nuance over black-and-white thinking
- curiosity over “this is just how things are done”
- psychological depth over surface-level harmony
With more unhealthy or rigid SJ personalities, I sometimes experience things like:
- they have strong attachment to tradition, routines, or “the normal life path”
- they easily get discomfort when their beliefs, social norms, or authority are questioned
- they take curiosity or deeper questions as criticism
- they focus more on what’s practical, familiar, or socially accepted than what feels personally true or psychologically meaningful
- they easily become defensive, controlling, passive-aggressive, or emotionally reactive when their worldview gets challenged
And as an ENFP, that can make me feel misunderstood, psychologically boxed in, drained by repetition or rigid thinking, like deeper context or nuance is being ignored and like I’m being judged for being “too much,” “too intense,” or “too unconventional”.
So the clash often feels like:
ENFP: “Let’s explore this, question it, understand it deeper.”
Rigid SJ: “Why question what already works or what most people do?”
So it’s not hatred toward SJ types at all. Some of the healthiest SJ types can be incredibly loyal, warm, grounded, and dependable.
But unhealthy or rigid SJs can sometimes trigger my biggest frustration:
“Why aren’t you curious?”
Anyone else relate to this as an ENFP?