u/EmptyInside2799

My gf went on a party and she dressed up really attractive and i didnt think about it much i only worried about if somebody is gonna bother her cuz she dressed up like that, but im worried she dressed up like a thot and i asked chat gpt for help he was telling me those are just anxiety shit and now i can remember it is, but then i asked gemini and he said yes and litterly moments ago i had mental breakdown now i dont know if i love her anymore AND I REALLY WANNA LOVE HER BUT THIS STUFF THAT GEMINI SAID HOLDS ME BACK MAN. Please help me i really fucking need it

A simple question, for me it started getting worse and worse and im scared i might never look at her again if it gets better

Well we got together and it was our first date i fell in love with that girl genuinely i loved her so so much and i couldn’t tell why tbf real love ig, but the thoughts started and it got sick pretty fast it started as she looked like some of my relatives and i just pushed trough it with like “those are just thoughts” and it was getting worse and worse and worse and its been a month nos that we are in a relationship and ive been doing shitty really but didnt have problems with like i dont love her etc. Till literally yesterday i need to mention that the thoughts never stopped really somedays i was doing fine and it gave me hope that i will be fine i will love her without problems but yesterday when we hanged out i didnt feel happiness with her i didnt feel that love i felt didnt feel that she is beautiful to me which literally idk just stopped ive been so anxious and i started getting depressed bcs OCD fucked me up real good as it started when i was like 14/15 n been dealing with it on my own, now that im 17 i really wanna love this girl i really dont wanna accept that i dont like her cuz i do i idk how to explain it but i dont wanna let her go, and i really wanna feel yk like i truly love her without problems i read some post about erp, and when it said yk just make ur self anxious with being like i dont feel like i love her “maybe i dont but i will stay with her” like that i tried that method on yk maybe shes not beautiful and i got relief and fuck me it is fucking me up, the worst part i cannot get pro ocd therapist cuz my father wouldnt believe me and personally scared to tell him as he might see me as a coward or idk dosent matter. Please help me how do i get trough this (btw my gf knows im dealing with these thoughts)

EDIT: forgot to mention i currently feel nothing idk its hard to explain only thing i feel is the want to love my girl without problems, also im scared at looking at her pictures cuz of not yk feeling that shes cute to me