u/EmotionalSun4935

Ever since I (F23) moved out, I genuinely feel like my mum (F43) has started distancing herself from me, and I can’t tell if I’m overreacting or if I’m noticing a real pattern.

I still constantly try to spend time with her, invite her places, and make plans, but she almost always says no to me while saying yes to the same things with other people.

For example:
- I’ve asked for years to go to Safari Park together. Always excuses. Her best friend asks? Immediate yes. They’re going this Sunday and I only found out through someone else.
- I invited her to my birthday picnic and she didn’t come.
- She didn’t come to my birthday party either.
- I asked her multiple times to go to the farm with me. She later went with the whole family without telling me.
- Small things too, like constantly inviting my sister to games/calls while ignoring me even when I’m online.

The hard part is that it’s become such a repeated pattern that even my husband and sister have started noticing it too.

I honestly just feel unwanted and don’t know how to stop taking it personally.

Ever since I, F23, moved out, I genuinely feel like my mum, F43, has started treating me differently and I feel like I’m going insane trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if I really am the “black sheep” of the family.

For context, I moved into a place with my sister. I don’t even live with my husband anymore right now, so it’s not like I disappeared off the face of the earth or “have my own family now.” I still try constantly to spend time with my mum.

The issue is she always says no to me, but yes to everyone else.

Examples:
- I’ve asked her for YEARS to go to Safari Park with me. Always excuses. “How would we get there?” “I don’t want to ruin your brother’s new car,” etc. Her best friend asks? Immediate yes. They’re literally going this Sunday and there are still spare seats, but nobody even invited me. I found out through someone else.
-won’t look at wedding dresses with me but gladly will with my brothers girlfriends. (Keep in mind I’ve had the longest relationship)
- I asked her to go to the farm multiple times. Always excuses. Then she went with the whole family without even telling me. My cousin messaged asking why I didn’t come.
- I invited her to a picnic for my birthday. She didn’t come because “it’s too far.” But I travel to see her constantly.
- She didn’t even come to my birthday party. It was just my husband and sister there.
- She still hasn’t even given me my birthday present.
- Me, my mum, and sister play PlayStation sometimes. My mum spam invites my sister to games while I’m literally online too and get nothing.
- They’ll FaceTime and not invite me.
- She’ll ask my sister to come over because my dad made “her favourite food” when it’s actually MY favourite food.

The weirdest part is other people are noticing it too. My husband noticed almost immediately. Even my sister can’t really defend it because the pattern is obvious.

I honestly feel humiliated and unwanted at this point. It’s gotten so bad that I literally had a dream last night about my whole family excluding me and me begging to be included.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this really is emotional exclusion. I just know I’m exhausted from constantly trying to be included in my own family.