How to deal with the lack of a community?
I originally posted this in r/adoption , but a user suggested posting it here.
This post won't offer any new insights probably, just need a place to vent my thoughts..
I feel like I have no community. I was born in Colombia and as a baby was adopted and raised in Belgium. I'm always excited when I meet Hispanic people but as soon as they realize I don't speak Spanish I can just feel this look of disappointment, like I'm somehow faking their culture.
It's even worse with people in Belgium outside of my limited friend circle. I lost count of how many times I've heard a form of "U say you are Belgian, but what are you really?", like the color of my skin somehow invalidates my options of being part of the country I've lived my entire life? The reason I wanted to post this and get it off my chest is because of the worst interaction like this I had recently. A guy seemed genuinely interested in me and I felt a real connection, but it ended on our 3d date when he asked me if i could, I wish i was joking, "talk dirty in Spanish". Writing it down again makes me want to barf..
I know this is a common feeling among adoptees, the not feeling fully at home anywhere. How have you all dealt with this? I feel like everyone around me, including my parents, truly want to help me and try to understand, but i feel like they will never be able to fully.