u/Emma050508

Hello,

I (22F) have been chatting for a few days with a guy I met on Hinge. We hit it off at first, but he made a comment that made me uncomfortable: talking about Sephora, he said, “It’s a store for women, haha.” I told him it’s for everyone, and he said, “Yeah, sorry, that’s a cliché 😅.” Later, he brought it up again, saying, “90% of women (not counting effeminate men) are part of their revenue.” I found the term “effeminate men” really over the line. I told him that it was true partially because a lot of men loved skin care but he just told me "he must have been old". When I told him I’d like to be with someone open-minded, he replied, “That’s a given! But there’s still a limit to how open-minded you can be 😉😁.”

He’s not a bad person, just i think he is not very open minded or maybe it is just me who is too difficult. I’ve never had a boyfriend ( like a serious relationship) before , and I admit it weighs on me. I don’t know if I should keep talking to him or not

Thanks for your thoughts

TL;DR : So i talked to a man ( 22M) and i wanted to know your opinions about what he said please

I matched with a guy on Tinder about two weeks ago (I’m F22, he’s M21). We moved to Instagram pretty quickly at my request. From the very beginning, he started liking all my messages, often very fast. After only an hour of talking, he told me it was "so great" to talk to me because I’m "super curious," and he told me to never lose that quality.

On April 26th, we were talking about our days. He sent me a very long text about his job at 10 PM and then apologized for talking too much. I didn't reply right away. The next morning at 11:21 AM, he texted "hello" again. I replied that evening, apologizing for being "off," and he immediately restarted the conversation. He asked about my passions, I took some time to reply, and he sent another "hello" with a smiley face. Basically, he double-texts to "re-launch" the conversation very often.

He gives me very heavy, intense compliments. For example: "The flower I find magnificent is you," when we asked about his favorite flowers. first he was serious by answering roses then he complimented me or when talking about Northern Lights: "They aren't as beautiful as you." He also said I’m "magnificent with or without makeup." I told him he was a "flatterer," but internally I’m cringing. It makes me uncomfortable. He insists he only gives compliments when he truly means them. His last relationship was in high school (3 years ago).

He is very reactive, sometimes replying at 3 AM, and he's persistent in a gentle but constant way. When I had to cancel our first date at 5:30 PM (I was at court with my internship supervisor), he offered to wait until 7:00 or 7:30 PM. I refused because it made me feel guilty to make him wait for nothing, and I preferred to reschedule. He accepted. Another time, we talked about an anime, I jokingly said "At my place?" and he replied "Anywhere, as long as it's with you." I said "You're moving a bit fast," and he replied "Not fast, just a lot of creativity." He then suggested a picnic, style date in the grass.

We’ve discussed our tastes (he doesn’t like series, I do; I like anime but I'm not a superfan, he isn't either) and he said we can complement each other. Then , we found out we were watching the same anime, and he laughed and said, “Coincidence? I don't think so.”

We’ve rescheduled twice now. The first time, I cancelled for a serious reason. The second time (today), He cancelled because his sister "forced" him to go to an amusement park (Le Bocasse). We rescheduled for this Wednesday.

As of today, we still haven't met. I think he’s kind and good-looking, and I’m looking for a boyfriend (he says he wants something serious too). However, I often feel "lazy" or reluctant to reply to his messages, and his insistent compliments are exhausting me. I’m an introvert and I love my alone time. I want to give this a chance and see him, but only if he slows down on the compliments and becomes less intense.

My questions:

1. Is this a red flag (love bombing/obsessive) or just a lack of experience since his last relationship was years ago?
2. Should I clearly tell him to slow down now, or wait for the next compliment to react?
3. Or should I just stop here given that I’m already feeling drained by the digital interaction?

Thanks for your advice.