feeling conflicted about my transphobic dad
So, as the title says, I feel quite conflicted about my dad. I'm a college student living with my dad to save money, and has been transitioning for almost 2 years. He's never been supportive; he is transphobic and against me being on T, has never attempted or tried to say my chosen name or gender me correctly, and said that since I live with him, I must live by his rules or else he'll kick me out. No matter if the rest of my family genders me correctly, he still ignores them, saying that he doesn't care whether my uncles or cousins or my mother does it. I chose to stand up for myself with this, so I was never nice to him. I act like an asshole at him, ignored him deliberately and tried to avoid him as much as I can by not coming home early, sleeping over at friends', etc. I do this with the principle that if he can't even respect me, then why do I have to respect him? People introduce themselves with their names - if he can't even say my name correctly, then why do I have to be nice to him at all?
But at the same time, I feel very guilty about this. He's a 60-something year-old man who divorced from my mom since I was 2. I was never close with him and never lived with him until college. He doesn't have a proper job since he's retired, and is not financially well-off at all compared to my mom - he's also legally not allowed to send money to me, so he never was able to fund me financially much my entire life. He has stage 3 (or 4 - I'm unsure) testicular cancer and is spending most of his savings on treatment. He's also neurodivergent and doesn't have many friends.
All of these factors made me feel really conflicted about him. He refuses to change or treat me any better. He sees that I'm ruining my life by transitioning. But at the same time, I feel bad for standing up for myself because he is, after all, my dad - an old man who's suffering from cancer and financial stress. I want to just connect with him on a normal father-son basis, but I just can't bring myself to as long as he acts the same way. I don't care if he doesn't have money or about the divorce my parents had - all I want is for him to treat me like his son. But he's not changing.