Hey, all
I wanted to get some opinions other than my own on if I may be expecting too much from dating right now or if I’m in the right to feel like people I’m talking to aren’t giving an honest effort
I posted something yesterday mentioning that I’m still hung up on my last relationship and this is true. But, I’ve been single for over a year and a half now and didn’t go on a single date until this past week since the breakup. I wanted to better myself and turn focus inwards for that time. I’m lonely and I need to meet someone to be able to truly move on from my last relationship. At least that’s what I think.
So to be brief, I met this girl for the first time yesterday after having chatted with her for about 2 weeks on hinge. I was out of town when we originally started chatting otherwise the meet up would have happened sooner. The date went well, we chatted to over 2 hours and seemed to be able to flow in our conversation nicely. After the date she sent me pictures of the flowers I brought her (cheesy I know) but she loved them and so have every girl I’ve ever brought flowers to on the first date. She then proceeded to tell me how nice it was that I gave them and that no guy does that anymore and that it should still be the normal. I mention this to show that she did seem rather interested and didn’t just text me to say that there wasn’t the chemistry she was looking for and ended things right there.
We texted a bit more last night and I eventually asked her how the rest of her evening was going. She replied with a rather short message saying that it was relaxing and that she needed a chill night. I was planning on messaging her back but I wanted to see if she was ever going to ask about my evening. I ended up falling asleep and never heard back from her. While she was the one to send the last text, I’m at a point in dating where I simply want someone to be excited to know about me and ask me about my life.
I’ve had issues love bombing in the past. Always both of us being the ones doing it and it has never ended well. I’m wondering now if I should have tried to continue the conversation or if I’m right to want someone to ask me about my evening after I had asked them about theirs? Of course, I could have came up with some other topic and tried to continue the conversation but I really wanted to see if she would want to know about my day.
As I said, I have love bombed and it’s basically all I’ve ever done. Most of my relationships have happened very fast and gotten very serious very quickly. Am I expecting too much from someone who I just met and would potentially want to date or does it sound like she is wanting to be entertained and shown attention more than actual attraction and a want to be with me? Everyone I have ever been with would have asked me immediately how my night was and would have tried to add more to the conversation than just a response to my question with minimal effort to continue it.
Ik the love bombing is unhealthy so perhaps this is how relationships are supposed to be at the beginning? I’m truly asking you guys bc I’ve only ever known the love bombing route so that’s what I may be expecting from someone and not something that is actually a healthy start to a relationship.
To add to it, another girl I’m talking to on hinge kind of made me feel like she’s more talking to me for attention than an actual want for a relationship and I’m curious your opinions on that as well. We talked the past few days and I told her we should get some coffee this next week. She replied with her saying that she’s free the proposed day but that if something comes up she’ll have to lmk that she can’t make it. This made me a bit put off bc I’m looking for something real and I would set time aside to meet up with her. If something came up I would work around that to be able to go on our planned date/meetup.
All of this makes me feel like neither of these women are actually serious about dating and are mostly looking for attention and validation. I could be completely misconstruing the situation in my head and be expecting too much from people so early on. I would love any insight from you guys. I’ve had failed relationships in the past but I don’t necessarily equate them failing to the moving too quickly. Things fizzled out naturally and all of my relationships were rather long and very full of love while they were still happening. Perhaps the moving so quickly was more meaningful to the breakups than I’ve ever let myself think but again, I’m asking for advice so irdk.
Thanks if you’ve made it this far and thank you to anyone that takes the time to reply.