I feel awful, on the train home after work two presumably homeless people sat infront of me. they did smell okayish, just a faint smell of booze, i saw dirt under one man’s fingernails and my head thought of all imagineable skin diseases, insects in places where they shouldn’t be.
i know that homelessness does not equal poor hygiene but certain skin rashes / diseases are mostly documented among homeless people. they were a bit loud as well but pretty humorous, not threatening or anything. yet i decided to get up and choose another seat.
at home i immediately showered (including my hair which was not due yet), wiped my phone display down with disinfectant and threw all clothing items in the laundry basket which also feels contaminated but i feel silly bagging them in plastic bags around my partner.
i also think of all things mentioned above while eating, i once switched up on my favourite vegan salami because it smelled like a person with poor hygiene and it was all i could think of, images of unpleasant things pop up in my head and i can still force myself to eat but it’s tough and not enjoyable.
i don’t even have it that bad, i have a roof over my head and a support system, i’m sober, i don’t want to make people that struggle enough already feel nasty about themselves or treat them like parasites, i feel entitled and stuck up. :(
it does not align with my moral nor political compass and the way i want to interact with the world.
not sure which flair is most fitting, i am also fine with advice, i feel like this is not enough of a crisis