For context, I (31M) am currently separated from my wife (31F). We’re not officially divorced yet because I’m saving up for an attorney to file. She’s not in any rush to file, even though she’s the one who asked for the separation.
Over the past two years, she treated me really poorly mentally, emotionally, and physically. During that time, she also had at least two emotional affairs and one physical affair that I’m aware of.
Recently, she’s been asking if I’ll still do things “as a family,” like celebrating our son’s (6M) birthday in June together and continuing a Halloween tradition we used to do every year.
I’m conflicted because I want to do what’s best for my son, but I don’t feel comfortable pretending we’re still a family unit. From my perspective, we’re separated, and she hasn’t treated me like family in a long time. I’m more than willing to celebrate my son and show up for him, but I’d rather do separate events instead of doing them together.
She says I’m being negative and that I shouldn’t keep bringing up the separation, but to me, that’s just the reality of the situation.
So, WIBTA if I refuse to do these events together and choose to celebrate separately instead?
Edited: The birthday and holidays are not just simple parties for a few hours, she wants them to continue to be week long family vacays like we used to have.