u/Either_Athlete_2680 — reddlx

My life feels horrible and lonely. I’ve been bullied and had trouble socially for as long as I can remember. Back in elementary school I was a bad kid and the teachers would put me in a separate room away from all the kids. Then when I would get home, because I was bad, I would get yelled at and in trouble and beaten. It was an all white school so I faced some discrimination with racist dog whistles from teachers and even a kid saying me and another kid can’t play together because he’s white and I’m black.

Then I went to middle school and it was horrible. I barely learned anything because this girl would argue with me every math class. People would talk during class, argue, make fun of me, call me ugly, and make fun of my weight. Back in homeroom, this kid would play Minecraft skeleton noises every time I walked in. Then he ended up putting his hands around my wrist and would always poke me, literally poke and pinch me when I was just sitting down and chilling. It was dehumanizing like I was a toy to be fiddled with. I would tell the teacher and all he would say is just stop and not do anything after that.

Until I ended up talking back and the kid got angry and ended up flipping my chair over saying he is tired of dealing with this, like I am the one that has been harassing him.

After that another situation happened where the kid’s friend saw me playing music for the class on my Chromebook. People were requesting songs. Then the kid’s friend was trying to take my Chromebook from me and I would not let him. When I did not let him, he ended up calling me a waste of sperm. Then when I said something back about his mom he punched me in my neck and I got so angry. He still continued to say stuff and walk out of the classroom.

As far as punishments go, the kid got a few days of in school suspension for punching me. And just like every other story, the popular kid wins the vote because I was not popular. The kid’s story was that I said something about his mom and then he punched me for it. That I talk trash, not that the kid was bothering me for so long beforehand.

Then another situation happened where I was walking into class and a kid tripped me and I fell on my face and my mouth was bleeding.

Another situation where I was called anorexic.

Another situation where a kid would constantly do the same poking thing and be annoying to me, then I ended up punching him and I started crying after because I felt bad for it. I do not anymore but at the time I had a lot more compassion.

And aside from that, just constant trash talking to me and harassment throughout the day to fill in the blanks.

Then I went to that high school. Here we are freshman year. This was not fun. First day in, some upperclassmen started being mean to me. I swear I would walk into the bathroom and be called a bitch ass n word.

A girl was arguing with me and started saying remember how you got your ass beat in middle school referring to the Chromebook situation or put on my ass referring to the tripping.

People just saying things or if you look in someone’s direction once they say what are you looking at. Very hostile. People talking about gang stuff. Being excluded from things like basketball in gym.

I had a situation where I played basketball intramural and got jumped by a kid, fell, everyone laughed, it was recorded, and I was posted on everybody’s story.

Some random girl said she does not like me and said things like you are a b when I am simply existing because she was friends with the Chromebook guy and I guess he did not like me.

I sat down at a lunch table with a few guys for weeks. Then when another kid wanted the spot they all simultaneously got up from the lunch table, left me, then gave it to the kid.

Another situation where I was at lunch and a kid at the other table was talking to me saying he was going to murder me. Then when I got mad and got up, the security guard came and everyone acted like I was over exaggerating. Then when I went to the principal office to tell her she brought the kids from the table in.

And they all lied. They were right there. They laughed. They saw it. And they all lied and said he did not do it. Then the principal did nothing about it and started insinuating that it might be me because I was the one getting bullied so I had to have been messing with kids.

The same kids that would ask the special education student in my homeroom how many chromosomes he had and laugh at him.

This is all freshman year by the way.

Another situation where I left my headphones near the teacher’s desk in class when I went to the bathroom and a kid decided to take them and run around the school with them. I asked everybody and they acted like they had no clue. The teacher does not give a fk. 250 dollar Beats.

So now I am looking around for them in the halls trying to find them and I am mad.

Then I tell the kid to give them back and not do it again. After that he starts getting mad at me because I wanted my headphones that he took. I do not even know this kid, he is just in my class.

After that it almost turns into a fight. He starts yelling saying who are you talking to, I am going to thrash you, come to the bathroom. Then security intervenes.

I get suspended. Nothing happens to the kid even though he took my headphones.

And aside from that, getting clowned daily, upperclassmen harassing me. Simply walking into the bathroom to take a piss and getting called a b.

Kid in my math class was making fun of me calling me special ed, saying I was special education, throwing things at me.

One time I walked into class, sat down, kids across from me said “this n word ugly as hell” and started laughing.

I talked trash back, we went back and forth. I do not even think I ever said anything to this dude. Now he is trying to hurt me.

Hostile environments. That is all. Hostile environments.

Even friends wise in middle school I had a little group but I never hung with them out of school. I would not get invited to any outings, birthday parties they would all go and I would not, etc.

I left that school freshman year. Went to another. First half it was cool. I started making some connections, meeting some people, some girls were interested in me.

Then it happened. I got into a verbal argument, started walking away, the kid jumped on my back, dragged me, recorded it. Laughed at by the entire school.

And just like everything, when something happens once it breeds a ground for even more people and more kids to try you.

I walked into Spanish class. A kid in my class was friends with somebody from my old school. He started telling him about the Chromebook situation and other things. People started instigating.

At this point I am a product of my environment and have trauma. I do not want to be seen as a b or weak or lesser than and I am hurt as fk.

The kid asked me to fight in the bathroom and I went. I lost. It was recorded. The entire school saw it, other schools saw it, people I called my friends saw it. I heard they were sending it out to people and laughing.

People I would talk to every day that would say what’s up, etc.

Then.

Fast forward.

Next year I go to my public school in my town which I avoided because it was 99 percent white and I am black and the previous schools were minority because I wanted to avoid the bullying I faced and assumed my people would not do that to me.

I went to the school in town. I was able to be quiet. I am a quiet kid and tall and skinny. Nobody was saying anything, it was chill.

Then I had a track meet at a school that was in the same town as the one where the recorded fights happened.

As I am warming up for my race a kid says “girls were talking about you, it was nothing good though.” Everyone keeps saying I am “Tate Taylor” because I have glasses, and at first I took it as a compliment because the dude is fast.

Then I sensed the animosity and the kid that went to the previous school that I walked past said “what up Tate Taylor” then walked by and said “that n word ugly as hell” and they all started laughing in the group.

This is not even everything.