My wife and I are both 33 and have been married for 9 years now. We have 2 daughters under the age of 4. 3 years ago her mom came from overseas to visit us. What was meant to be a 6 month stay has now turned into her living with us permanently. Her mom is helpful when it comes to cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, etc. But this has caused serious damage to our relationship. My wife and I have no connection. When we get home from work, we may speak for a brief 5 minutes and then she just spends the entire evening with her mom. When we eat dinner, she sits with her mom in a separate room while I eat alone at the table. When it comes to raising our kids, my say never matters, it is always what they want to do and think is best. Whenever we go out anywhere she always rides with her mom and the kids and I always drive alone because “there’s no space “ even though we have an SUV. Also side note, her mom does not speak English and I dont speak their language so I am always feeling left out.
There is nothing my wife even does for me anymore. She hasnt cooked in three years since her mom is here so I dont even get to eat my wife’s food. Intimacy between us is nonexistent. Whenever I would ask there was always an excuse. Now I don’t even bother to ask, and she doesn’t see this as an issue at all. She doesn’t even sleep in our bed anymore, for the past 2 years she has been sleeping in the kids room and sometimes her mom is in there too.
I have asked her multiple times to have her mom stay with her son (wife’s brother) who lives nearby, even just for 2 weeks. This has never happened.
I feel like a lonely guest in my house. The only joy I have is playing with my kids. If it wasn’t for them I would be gone for sure.
At this point my patience is running out though. I am afraid that I will start seeing other women. I really dont want to do that but I do not see anything improving between my wife and I. And I cannot continue like this for much longer.
Please any advice,
Thanks