u/EffectivePay6449

I need opinions on a friendship situation because I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting anymore.

I have a male friend, but the friendship has always felt very odd and confusing. We are NOT dating, never have been, and I’ve made that clear multiple times.

He likes buying me clothes and bikinis, and he’ll make comments that make me feel like he’s trying to “build a bitch” in his head into his ideal version of me.

To be fair, I genuinely think in his mind he believes he’s being nice. He likes sending me links to clothes saying things like “you’d look good in this,” and I think he sees it as helping me dress nicely or improving my appearance.

But sometimes the comments attached to it make me uncomfortable. For example, he bought me a bikini once, and when I lost the bottoms he said:
“What? I didn’t even get to see you in it.”

That’s the kind of thing that makes the friendship feel less platonic to me.

He’s made comments like

“Gorgeous, would you dye your hair black for me?”

When I said no and that I’ll do what I want with my hair, he later said:

“You’ve done what I want with your appearance so far and look how good you look. You’ve lost weight, got fit, got tanned, BOTH nipples pierced, you’re wearing less makeup and your rosy cheeks are coming through. And you cut your hair to an optimal length.”

There’s also been behaviour that makes me really uncomfortable:
- He used to come over to my place and masturbate in another room.
- He would pick me up and sit me on his lap while he had a boner.
- He smacks my ass sometimes.

Again, we are NOT together.

I’ve had at least 4 serious conversations with him about boundaries and told him this behaviour isn’t appropriate. Every time, he apologises or acts like he understands, but then it slowly continues again. I barely see him one-on-one anymore because I feel uncomfortable.

Recently he sent me this:

“I don't think I hold any urgency or value in your life. There is nothing you would drop to come support and comfort me in any way. Whereas I am constantly there to help at your lowest. It's a recurring theme in our friendship and it makes me feel worthless to you.

You may think this is pathetic but to me, it is very important to hold the people I love. It's incredibly comforting to me to cuddle with my loved ones. I love seeing you, I love to hold you, it grounds me and soothes the constant anxiety. I love how soft and warm your skin is, I love how you smell. Being around my best friend really helps me emotionally regulate myself.”

I understand the first paragraph to an extent, but after that it starts feeling really intense and inappropriate to me. Especially the comments about my body, skin, smell, and using me as emotional regulation.

The hard part is I genuinely think in his mind he doesn’t see anything wrong with this, which makes me second guess myself sometimes.

Am I overreacting for feeling uncomfortable and wanting distance from this friendship?

I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

Over sharing here but for context.

My partner and I were having sex it started from 10pm to about 4am. We had a few drinks and coke was being put up my bum. Now I’m a heavy user of the substance. And I’ve never experienced this.

I think lack of sleep may have contributed, But we’ve done this manyyy times over 6 years.

Anyway it hit 4am I had the last bit put in. I may have had abit more than my usual. And I think it could’ve been an overdose.

I didn’t have physical pain or issues. This was mental.

my reality wasn’t matching up with the world around me, it was terrifying and i was losing my fucking mind.

I had no control of my body. I was completely out of control of my actions, I felt like i was a character in life, like in a movie or video game, not a real person and I definitely wasnt living in my normal reality.

It felt like someone else was in my body and controlling me.
I was with my partner at the time thank god. But I was getting up touching the walls. And saying and doing things I would never do. I had to keep telling my self okay Amy snap out of it. And for a second there I could get back to reality. Then I fell right back into that episode. I knew I was going to be okay but it was horrible.

Moving and talking eased it alittle bit. But sitting there doing nothing freaked me out. Vision was blurry I was seeing little green dots. I had no balance. My arms and legs when I stood up would throw them selves up, no control.

I had to take 4 Valium, and after about 10 minutes I was slowly getting back into reality.

Now if this was the drug, if I touch it again would this happen ?

What exactly happened to me, has anyone had this experience?

I need peoples opinions please. 🙏