u/Educational-Guess866

I (f23) just went on a first date with m31, and for the most part, it was going okay but pretty quickly I realized I didn’t want to go on a second date. Once we started talking, the age gap felt bigger than I thought it would. Additionally, when I mentioned that I trained my dog to be a personal service dog, he started asking why I have a service dog, what I have it for (PTSD), which then he asked what happened that gave me PTSD. Mind you, we were in a packed coffee shop with people right next to us on both sides, less than an arm’s length away. These questions would have been unhinged for a first date regardless, but asking in front of several people felt deeply violating. I already felt uncomfortable telling him that I was diagnosed with PTSD, but drew the line at talking about what caused it. We left the coffee shop; shortly after, however, it started pouring, so we stopped at his gym to wait while I called myself an Uber. He then asked me how I felt the date went, and if I wanted to see him again. I know I should’ve jmmjjm said no, but I felt nervous saying that to the face of a complete stranger , so I said sure to the second date. Now he’s following up on that second date IMJ

I’m 23f, currently in my third year of university (took gap years during Covid) and on a dating app I matched with 31m who has asked me out on a date. He seems extremely interesting and attractive, but I’m feeling a little hesitant about the age gap. What do you all think about this age gap?

When I set my age preferences for the app, I originally capped out my age preference at 27, but due to having relatively slim pickings, I increased the maximum age to 31 without actually considering how big of an age gap that is. Now that I’m actually going on a date, however, I’m a little concerned.

My mom has mentioned in the past that she doesn’t think that age gaps matter much in your 20s as long as the age gap is less than a decade. For the most part, I agree. However, I mentioned the date in passing to two friends and they were both concerned. One directly said that it’s really weird on his part, and the other friend said that it’s unusual but not too troubling, since I have lots of life experience. I matured relatively fast due to experiencing significant trauma after high school, which leads to me often feeling older than I am. Emotionally, I feel like 23 and 31 is okay, but logically, I’m not convinced.

Also, safety/catfishing isn’t part of my concern at all. I’m not concerned about getting catfished because this dating app requires referrals, an application process, and extensive photo/facial verification, so it’s near impossible to catfish. It has an acceptance rate of 8%ish I think, so it is quite trustworthy. The date would also be in public, and my friends will have my location, so safety isn’t a concern/factor.

He seems really interesting and nice so I feel like I’m overthinking it. Thoughts?