u/EcstaticSpell23

So this is how it feels like to experience my first heartbreak after 20 years of marriage. Lost 10 pounds in a span of 3 weeks, sleepless nights with anxiety and depression. After a month, I can say that I am starting to rebuild my life. Went to the gym, started running again and enjoying single life in my 40's. It's not easy, I still.find myself crying but there are more happy moments now with my daughters, family and friends. I get to appreciate small circles who value me and love me for who I am.

Tl;dr what's your moving on story? How many months?or years beforw you realized that you finally moved on?

After 10 days of no contact our daughters and I picked him up in his new home (single occupancy studio type) to attend Sunday mass. Good thing he agreed. After mass we ate together and went to grocery which he paid for everything. After we dropped him off, I sent him a message saying that I have come to terms with our current set up and I forgive him for his lies and looking forward to our next Sunday Mass.

I thought everything was ok. Then come our anniversary, no message from him so I decided to drop off his food after work.

To my surprise, he looked very different, he was angry and asked me to go home. I said I was just giving you food and he said "do u think I will accept that?" In a very disgusted and angry tone. He even said he will call the police if I will not leave.

I stayed inside the car and sent him a message how cruel can he be, I was just trying to be nice. After few minutes he banged my car window and wanted to get in. I got scared and drove slowly, i looked at the rear mirror and saw him following me. I opened the door and let him drive me home.

He started to shout and cursed at me. For 20 years this is the first time I've seen this side of him like he can hit me anytime but he was just trying to control himself. He said he wanted to start his life anew and trying to change and the minute I showed up it seems like he's back to square one.

That was when I realized that he remembers his betrayal, cheating and lies everytime he sees me.

That he totally closed his door for me and no longer have a place in this new life he's saying and that hurts.

This last encounter with him is his worst version and it made me come to my senses to cut everything off with him. How can I help a person if he himself cannot even forgive himself? He's become a stranger, a man I no longer recognize because of his guilt, anger and frustrations. After that, I blocked him in all my soc med accounts and I can say I found my peace.

It's not easy to give up on a person whom you saw building a life with but my realization now is, do i still see myself end up with the same person who broke me? And there I foumd my answer.

tl;dr husband (48) left me after admitting to an affaie 10 years ago with a love child. After 10 days of no contact, I tried to reach out for forgiveness and acceptance, only to be treated harshly by the only person whom I saw growing old with and that incident gave me the answer I needed.