My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2.5 months now. Part of that time (almost a month) has been long distance. This is also my first relationship where I feel this in love, and it has honestly been a bit overwhelming. Often it feels like my emotions are given to me exogenously, and they run the whole show rather than me being in control of them, which is quite frustrating.
Over the past month especially, I was crushing on him hard, to the point where it felt almost obsessive. I was constantly thinking about him, overanalyzing everything like texts, and feeling super emotionally “high” all the time.
Now that I know he reciprocates and the uncertainty is gone, that intensity has started to shift. It feels calmer, more stable,, and less all-consuming. Which I think is a good thing.
But here’s where my anxiety kicks in: I’m scared that this change means I’m losing feelings for him. I really don’t want that to happen. He’s genuinely amazing, and I’ve never felt this kind of attraction to someone at 360° before.
Still, I catch myself overinterpreting things like:
- Not feeling anxious if he doesn’t reply right away
- Not thinking about him 24/7 anymore
- Occasionally noticing other people as physically attractive
And my brain immediately goes: “That must mean your feelings are fading.”
I guess I’m struggling to tell the difference between “the initial crush settling into something healthier” and “actually losing interest.”
TL;DR After the "crush phase" how do you tell if you're settling in a more stable (and less anxious) form of love or the beginning of losing feelings?