how to raise a nonshithead toddler
i think my 2 1/2 year old toddler just killed a young chicken.
it was him or the dog because the dog bothers them too. i was drawing outside because god forbid i just want to do a fucking activity and relax but that never fucking happens and he was in the small coop in the fenced area, i didn’t see any chickens in there but i should’ve checked it ultimately is my fault. but he just isn’t nice to the animals at all and i never show aggression to our pets yet he is extremely aggressive to our pets, kicking them, trying to step on them, hitting them, pulling their ears after i tell him to stop or tell him to be gentle, once in a blue moon he is gentle and i give him a lot of praise with it, all those things he does to the cats and dog but the cats are too calm they just dgaf and don’t scratch him or react but i know he’s fucking hurting them.
time out hasn’t worked or changed a thing this past year and a half and i finally just started spanking him for that reason, i have explained to him we are nice and respectful before and after time out, i make him repeat after me. he hits me, kicks me, jumps on me, grabs my hair and doesn’t let go, for no reason a majority of the time literally even when he has my attention.
i’m just so fucking over he only listens when i yell at him. i’ve tried to be nice up until now i can’t fucking take it anymore. asking him nicely please and thank you he never listens to me he only listens when i yell i’m so tired of all of this. i’m his only parent he’s not in daycare i only work a few days of the fucking week i have no friends or no one to fucking talk to. i feel like i might be starting to grow resentment towards him because i am no longer happy. i don’t want to put him in daycare because i dont want to risk abuse or assault. but i also need a fucking adult my age to talk to and hangout with i literally have fucking no one.
my mom complains abt watching him the few days i work yet she agreed to it and agrees with me on no daycare due to abuse factors. i have no human interaction i haven’t had a conversation with an adult in months, my mom and i don’t converse i don’t know anyone my fucking age and i don’t know how to get out and do things alone, it’s a small town so we don’t have mom groups.
i’m tired of feeling like an angry man when i am a woman. i don’t even feel like a woman anymore because i don’t have time to myself or to get ready or do anything feminine or have other girls to hangout and be girly with. i want to be a sweet loving mother with a sweet loving son but that isn’t the way it’s fucking going. i try to be sweet and loving, caring, explaining, thoughtful to him but it’s not working at all i feel like.
i explain why we do things out of respect like burying dead animals and giving them flowers on top as a memorial, talking to the universe about the animals life, why we don’t hurt people and animals we love and care about but he is far from gentle. i just want to fucking scream i’m so tired of being beaten up all day and hearing crying every time i turn away because he immediately falls or gets hurt. i’m tired of not getting shit done because he won’t even sit to watch a fucking show. i’m tired of being outside 24/7 because he can open the fucking doors and my parents (it’s a house on their property) haven’t put another lock in or said i can when i’ve asked, they’re particular yet at the same time it’s like they dgaf so they have to choose what’s put in here.
i also don’t know how the fuck people do activities with their kids outdoors because every time i try to draw with him or color he flips out at me and gets mad, he just runs and walks everywhere instead of the activities i do and yes i guess i could force him to sit with me and do them but nothing is fucking enjoyable and i guess i am permissive in that way of just letting us walk around all day looking at tractors and old cars instead of drawing or learning because i dont want to deal with more screaming.
i havent gotten a break since 2025 and i need a fucking break yet i have no one i could hangout with even if i got that break.