u/DnBJungleEscape

I (39F) have been with my bf for almost 2 years. Things were good at first (famous words!) but I’ve realized he’s a bit of a functional drinker.

Maybe “ a bit “ is an understatement..

2 months ago I was considering taking space. This isn’t a situation where things are so far gone that I am just done. It’s the drinking. I don’t like when he drinks. He isn’t mean or loud but he’s another person. Also the next day.

I’m convinced he has an imbalance .. he will drink and next day be cold and quiet. It’s not him.

He’s starting a 8 week program today but this weekend he drank and came home early from work claiming he felt sick, and then had a beer 🙄

To make matters even better - I recently found out I’m pregnant.

Please - I know reading this it comes off like WTf is this woman doing, but you aren’t telling me anything I already haven’t thought before

I feel I’m living someone else’s life

I’ve done therapy after my last relationship. I’ve reflected. I’ve stayed single to better myself. You name it and I’ve done it ..

I can’t believe this is my life

I want to reiterate when he’s sober and himself he’s great …

A little context about him: he had a son young and I think his life’s just been sort of served up for him with him cruising along. What I mean is his dad pushed he get married at 24 and that ended as soon as it started .. he’s been a good dad but I just feel he’s been coddled and rescued by his big family.

I feel close now to being done but if I have this baby I don’t want my kid not having their dad. I still have my dad

How did you make a hard decision like this?

I also want to say this has gotten worse over time

I just found out I’m pregnant (late 30s). And I’m fearful to tell my mom. I love my mom and we are close but ever since I was a teen, she told me to not have kids and live my life. She always told me to have my own career and money.

She had these things but growing up in a Latin American country, when she was 26 and owned an art school and was living life, my grandma badgered her to get married and have babies.

My mom never wanted that but she did it and she was a good mom but when her and my dad split, I felt her resentment toward him. She got me therapy when I was a teen and admitted she knows she was cold sometimes or didn’t mask her resentment toward my dad but it had nothing to do with us. She lived her whole life trying to make her mom happy.

She always told me to live my life and I feel when we find out people are having babies she’s happy for them but she always tells people about how I’m the independent, educated one that’s a dog mom and not going to be a mom. She recently spent time with her partners son (her partner passed) and he was asking her about how neither I or my brother have kids. She told him how she “probably scared me out of it haha” and I said “mom did you say that?” She said he kinda gave her a look and then smiled.

I was thinking yeah probably smiled in pity lol 😣

She went on to tell him how I focused on my masters and getting my own place and etc .. it made me sad 😞 it felt that was her story she wanted to tell not mine

Anyway I’m pregnant and scared to tell her because I don’t think she’ll be happy at all ….

I feel she’ll view it as me ruining my life or in her mind she’ll think “just wait and see”

Yes I know motherhood is brutal. It’s hard. I love my freedom.

But what, I’m going to be 45 and still craving my freedom ? It’s hard either way …

I’ve always been on the fence about babies so I get her care and concern I really do

I feel she supports me for for anything else aside from this :-/

I hope the comments are kind. I’m shocked. I just found out I’m pregnant

I’m in my late 30s, I’ve been with the same partner for 1.5 years. .

He has a 21 year old son so he’s not new to this ..

I feel dread, sadness, like I’m giving up so much…

Anyone else on here feel the same when they found out and had the baby and changed their mind?

I’m in pure shock 😳