Me (F45) partner (M53) have been in relationship for 5 nearly 6 years. Sorry might be a long one.
I live with my partner in his house relevant for later. I met my partner (m53) in the bar where I worked spent a lot of time talking while I was working he started to come in regular nearly every time I worked. not long after ended up in a relationship he would phone and text me all the time. not long after I moved in to the house with him. All seemed to be well but slowly things started to change he accused me of cheating but would always hide his phone from me, so one night I looked through his phone and discovered spicy messages to two other women. I confronted him and he tried to deny it to begin with but then said it was because we were not getting along at the time so we put it aside and carried on in the relationship. Sometime later he started being off with me again and accusing me of cheating so I looked at his phone again and again he was chasing after someone we both knew he said he would stop talking to her and again we put it behind us come a couple months later we attended a party and he got quite drunk and I saw him trying to give another girl who we both knew his phone number. He denied doing any wrong so I again to to get past this and things got better for quite a while and then again he started to become distant and not very nice and found that he was watching videos of women doing suggestive movements, I’m not comfortable with this as he ignores me and I feel inadequate,not enough and undesirable. We wend on holiday together and one night he had drank that much he flipped and started calling me names and accusing me of cheating and messaging other men and kissing another man he then walked off and disappeared all night and left me voice notes on WhatsApp calling me names and said he was going to throw me out anyway when we arrived back home . His mood is very up and down sometimes and I feel I have to be carful how I word things or it could set him off being horrible to me.
Then household chores he does 90% of the cooking and I do everything else and he goes around telling everyone that I don’t do anything and when we have arguments he tells me he does everything for me apart from wipe me bum for me, I feel he never compliments me about anything. I’m not sure I’m in a position to leave renting a place is rather expensive and local council won’t help me cos I have no children and I work, buying a place is also not achievable for me as I don’t really have any savings for deposit.
Recently we have had conversations about what would happen if anything happened to him with regards to the house, he tells me he is leaving it to family so guessing that would leave me homeless.
Sorry if seem jumbled or jumps around I’m not great at putting things in writing
I just need advice on what I should do
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