u/Diligent-Article-932

Chatting up my bestie, we talked about our families. ADfam, BioFam and her Family.

BioF and her dad were abusive .

Got talking about closing chapters. Renewing.

I’ve never met or exchanged msg with my BioF (i msged an intro saying if he didn’t communicate back it’s all good) couldnt care any less…. I learned he beat his wives/gfs, child and abuse coworkers. Narcissistic, right fighter, smartest, best ever.

I’d write my BIOF a letter and she’ll write her dad. Still pondering if i’ll msg him a copy.

We’re planning a bonfire and burn, burn, burn those letters SING, CRY, DANCE AND THROW SOME AXES 🪓. What cha think?

I’ll lightly touch on abuse endured by my ex’s hands ; SA, verbal, physical, psychological, weaponizing disability and financial.

Ive figured out maybe BIOF abuse trickled down, DNA, through BM belly. Maybe I learned to accept it as “normalish” because the partners I’ve chosen are….JUST LIKE HIM.

How you too, (BioF), caused pain to the most vulnerable, defenceless, those who loved you and those still loving you….

You returned “love” and “Trust” as sweet nothings, apologies and promises to mask abuse.

I extend many thanks(love?) for you not being my Dad, you weren’t deserving of that title.

BioM gave me the precious gift of leaving.

I have now left the grips of abuse, teaching my child to respect family, friends, partners and animals. This child has empathy, helps others and truly loves…takes after me🥰.

I send love, peace and healing to those needing a boost to refresh, revive, reinvent, love and find themselves again, coming first so they have the strength to share.

I am enough. This child is enough and they are enough.

What do you think?

Thanks for taking time to read this, you too are enough. Always remember,

..Broken Crayons Still Colour…Just as Bright..

Recently, through MyHeritage, I’ve found a half sister while making a BioFam tree.

Researching roots and travels has been quite interesting.

He is not a nice guy, I saw a picture and knew….notice nasty without meeting or knowing? Maybe I’m an ass making assumptions again.

So I’m feeling strange to say anything. Maybe she doesn’t know I exist. Would it or could reaching out cause a negative impact?

Am I overthinking?

I don’t want to cause further disruption or cause anxiety should half sis be surprised to find out.

What is the thought process among you strangers?

Would you reach out? Or how to reach out? What to say?

.

Adopting children is ‘hard’. Yes, ‘hard’ and or ‘expensive’ are separate “issues”. I agree, there should be Rules, stipulations, welfare checks, regular paediatrician check ups during adoptions and there to protect children.

Why are loving families who are capable, prepared and able to care for a special-high needs child Approved and last minute denied?

Are older children or special needs children denied their adoption a moneymaker? Somehow? Cyclical?

My older brother died in ministry foster care. There would have been four of us….all adopted. No saviour complex or narcissistic abusive APs…

Was a last second denial racially motivated? 1975 through 1986.

Bi Racial couple and family? I often wonder why? Different social worker grouping maybe, making money somehow, I am not too sure.

Has anyone else had an experience, your siblings being denied at the hands of ministry or agency?