I'm 20 years old, I've struggled all my life with social anxiety and loneliness. At the age of 11 i started to feel depressed and every year my loneliness and depression gets worse with self hate. I don't have the will to do anything in life, everytime i thing about life i get a very bad feeling, almost like a nightmare. I'm slowly getting more hopeless about my life
20m, I'm not bad looking and some girls my age at college or school shown some interest before but either they stop caring because i don't talk much or lose interest as soon as they talk to me once. I've been alone and socially isolated as long as i can remember, i even remember when i was 4 years old i was always alone in class and recess, i spend school always alone then also college.
As a result i never learned how to socialize, i look at people my age or people i used to know having a happy life or in a relationship and it makes me realize how lonely and sad my life is. Other than relationships, I've never lived life and there's some basic things I've never done in life that most people did. I know I'm still 20 years old but i can't find a way out of loneliness and i quit college, so i feel having a social life feels more impossible than ever.