u/DetectiveSmart3912

Hey guys so I (20f) and my friend k (21f) had had a trip planned to go to New Orleans for about 2/3 months. I had invited her telling her she wouldn’t have to pay for gas, Airbnb, hotels for the road trip, or her concert tickets (we are going to see Ethel Cain). She would only have to pay for food and the 30$ tickets for whatever museums we go to. She ofc said yes.
For background I had invited her to another trip to shenendoa national park in Feb for my birthday. I also told her then I’d pay for everything except food. I spent 400$ on the trip for her to ignore me the day we were supposed to leave (mind you this was for my birthday, I needed up spending my birthday alone)
She has also ditched me for men multiple times. She’s kicked me out of her house, left a sleepover, left me at her house and tons other for a man who was using her to cheat on his gf.
Back to the trip she was so in on coming and I sensed zero hesitation until a week ago. She would not want to talk about the trip, I tried to share a playlist with her for the trip and she told me not to. She started acting like she was going to cancel and then 3 days ago told me she hadn’t spoke to her mom about the trip at all……
I was supposed to leave for the trip yesterday. At 1pm she text me that her grandma is in the hospital. I ofc felt awful and told her that I will help however I can. I asked if she wanted to go on the trip and she said yes. I text around 5pm (mind you we were supposed to leave at 12) to ask what’s going on cuz I do have to leave. She doesn’t text me at all and at 6 I say “hey I’m gonna leave” and all she text back is “I’m sorry.” One one hand I feel like I can’t be mad. It’s her grandma. On the other hand I’m frustrated that this is the second trip that’s she’s canceled on the day of right before we are supposed to leave. I also don’t know if I believe her grandma is in the hospital.. it’s just a strange coincidence that she was being weird about the trip, said her mom would be mad about it, was ignoring me all day and then when we need to leave her grandma is in the hospital. It’s also kinda like her to make up insane story’s to get out of stuff. Anyway I get a little upset and tell her that I’m here for her for whatever she needs but I wish she would be better at communicating. So far I’ve had to waste 600$ on tires for my car, Airbnb, hotels, and concert. I’ve been working 12 hour shifts for 2 weeks for extra money. And I’ve now had to spend an extra 600$ on plane tickets just so I can go. In total me and my family have paid around 3000$ for this trip….

For context, me and this girl who I’ll call A knew each other for about a year before we Both admitted our feelings to each other.
I moved away shortly after but we stayed in contact.
At some point in Sep/October she just completely stopped talking to me, granted we did get into an argument.
Fast forward to last week she text me out of the blue asking how I was doing. We hung out
the last time last night. As i dropped her off she told me that she felt I talked a majority of the time and didn’t care about her side of the convo. I was very confused because i continuously asked her how’s school going and we asked her about classes and summer and I felt like I made an effort to ask her how she’s doing and she would barley answer. She then told me that everything is surface level with me which I feel is super untrue. We argued for a bit and I asked her what I could do to make her feel like I’m engaged because I am. She just kept saying “idk.” I felt like I couldn’t explain myself because she had already told me that I talk too much. I hate feeling like I’m making this about me because it makes me feel awful that she felt she couldn’t talk with me. She’s never brought this up before and mind you this is our second hang out. I’m not going to lie I did cry because my biggest insecurity is the fact that I talk so much.…. Am I the asshole or was it a misunderstanding on both parts???