u/Desperate_Ship_9654

Hello guys ! I have posted on here before and have been part of this sub for a good few years now, but I have come to the realization that I am a Demigirlflux. I was so so happy to be in this sub and I hope u all stay safe , happy , and continue on your journeys as the boys and men you are . I will always be your sister and will be visiting on occasion to check in on ya guys . I know things are tough rn , but remember u are loved and nothing can ever change that , no matter what , u will always be loved and will always be valid 💓 have a blessed day and stay strong !

I am hating this body I have been born in and I want out . I'm to soon be on Testosterone at some point this year, but until then I feel hopeless and heavy .

My chest is big and I hate it , feeling myself going through ovulation just amplifies my dysphoria even more and how I am perceived by others has pushed me to the point where I don't hardly talk to anyone anymore .

I want out of this cage , I know it's happening soon , but I feel like it cant be soon enough . I can't even hardly get myself off anymore through masturbation because my lower half feels disgusting , I hate it and I'm increasingly starting to hate it even more . I can't wear my binder much anymore without wheezing because my bust has gotten bigger, I feel overweight and my body feels like it's starting to look more and more feminine as my life goes on ( I'm 27 ) I hate my cellulite and can't hardly look into the mirror anymore .

This body feels like it's not even my own anymore so much that I feel like I'm starting to go numb to it . It feels like I am trapped in someone else's body and it's giving me the massive ick , as in , I'm starting to physically feel nauseated by it . I can't hardly sleep much anymore because of the distress .

I don't mean to sound like a crybaby , but I want to get this out , I feel like if I don't get this out I will go crazy .

I want to have that flat chest so bad , a more masculine voice , I want to be able to stand up to pee finally with a proper dick and not this mess of a thing I have between my legs, I want my fat to distribute properly so that I am not this fucking curvy.

I never thought waiting could be such torture . It's like I'm literally in Hell being roasted on a spit over fire 24/7 . How do u cope with this ? Especially when u are hyper aware of your own body feeling like a literal sarcophagus that you are tossing and turning in trying to get out .