u/Desperate-Hyena1934

This has been a fight for a few weeks. Everytime I express my concern he gets so belligerent and mad. Tells me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Here the deal right now we have 2 good running cars. 2009 Hyundai azera with 130,000 miles. A Hyundai Santa Fe with 160,000 miles. The Santa Fe has both passenger doors that won’t open. He uses that car right now. I’m a stay at home mom with a 1 and 4 year old. I don’t go a lot of places right now but once our four year old starts school this coming year I will have to drive him.

His dad will be at work at pick up and drop off. His age doesn’t offer bus rides. So I will need a car unless he plans on getting all the kids up at 5am to drive him to work. I think that would be ridiculous. He wants an old truck so bad even though we genuinely barely get by as is. Right. Is I am a stay at home mom. I’ve worked night shift before and it took an incredible toll on my mind and the only people paying for it was my kids. I’ve begged to trade places with him essentially. I want to work a day shift job and come home to cook and put kids to bed- while he does a night shift job and care for children during the day.Except he has so many wants and wishes that are always self centered. He wants to trade in my good running Hyundai azera with 130,000 miles for an old 2000 model truck or even older. He says I can have the Santa Fe that only has two working doors.

I told him I don’t think it’s smart since our son starts school and we have good vehicles right now. He says he’s gonna be throwing money into that car by having to get “tires, or paying the yearly registration fee” I told him if he gets an old truck he will have the same responsibility for any car or truck we get. Except we risk getting an old truck and a big fix that we can’t afford pops up. Then what? AITA for feeling this is kind of selfish time to decide to trade in my good car for an old truck? Most the ones he’s looking at don’t even have a back seat.

Editing ti add both these cars are paid off.

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u/Desperate-Hyena1934 — 12 days ago

I’ve been thinking about this for weeks. My MIL (my husbands step mom but she’s been around forever) birthday was the beginning of April. I painted her a picture of all of her grandkids. Spent a lot of time and care on this picture for her. We planned to come for Sunday dinner for her birthday and we were gonna bring the painting then. A couple days before she calls and ask if she can keep our daughter the night before. Our daughter is only 1 she claimed so we could have one on one time with our son 4M. We accepted at the time.

The zoo in our state had a really good deal on tickets so I told her the day after we had said yes that we really wanted our daughter to come with all of us. My husband was the one who changed his mind and said he wouldnt feel right going without our daughter and that he would miss her the whole time. I didn’t think it was a big deal told her sorry but we will still all come see her on Sunday for her birthday. She acted like everything was fine.

Then whenever we started heading over that Sunday (it’s about an hour drive) she texted when we were 20 minutes away saying she has lunch with her girlfriends so change of plans. I told her I hope she has fun but we are still coming because I’m sure my husband still wants to see his dad and kids wanna see papa. Also that we were dropping the painting off. She got really defensive and said oh no don’t do that! He will be coming with me anyways (he never goes with her when she goes for lunch with her girlfriends). She said don’t leave the painting in their garage either because the dogs might get it. I told her we already made the trip over and I hope they have fun/ happy birthday.

When we get there my husbands dad is hanging out in pajamas. Like he does most days he’s just sitting around. He came to say hi to the kids- the MIL poked her head around the corner (just enough for kids to see her) and took off back in the house. We asked his dad about this lunch she said they were going to and he said he had no idea and they were just having a lazy day. We gave the painting to him so he could give it to her.

This whole situation was really weird to me. Like she was so upset we didn’t let our daughter stay the night before or was mad we changed plans after saying yes? So she let us get the kids all ready and drive 40 mins and tried to get us back for it or something.The kids papa still ended coming with us to the park so he could play with the kids. He did end up getting in trouble for not “ditching us” like “we did to them”. Our son kept asking why gg didn’t want to say hi to them. AIO for thinking this was very immature to involve the kids in some petty drama like this over being told no one time to a sleepover with our one year old?

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u/Desperate-Hyena1934 — 15 days ago