u/Dependent_Frame2738

the 'to shave or not to shave' discourse is very annoying. having a preference is fine, but there’s a huge difference between 'i prefer this look' and 'i expect my partner to change their natural body for my comfort and i don’t care about how they feel’. in reference to body hair. and don’t get me started on the women who shame other women by calling them plucked chickens or prepubescent girls for shaving. it’s disgusting and neither side can win. mature communication isn't finding a nice way to pressure your partner into changing themselves because you don’t find their body hair attractive. it’s about realizing that if someone’s own shaving preferences are a dealbreaker for you, then thats not their responsibility to change for you.
respecting your partners choice is basic decency. while everyone has a preference you don’t treat your partner like they’re gross for having something natural like body hair. you don’t demand they change their boundaries to make you comfortable. if you’re trying to get them to change then you don’t respect them at all. i hate that this even has to be an issue and this makes me consider if this space is even right for me.

eta:. the fact that other peoples posts saying people can do what they want with their bodies just proves my point lol.

reddit.com
u/Dependent_Frame2738 — 13 days ago

there was a time a few years ago when i genuinely thought i was aroace so this isn’t new to me. i was repulsed by men and women for some reason stopped being in the picture even though i was bisexual.

it turned out i do experience some sort of attraction to women. it wasn’t until the beginning of 2025 i watched a show and genuinely felt sexual attraction to a woman. it wasn’t even in a omg she’s so hot way but i love her so much and i want to connect with her on that level because i felt safe. i finally let myself feel attraction and it was nice even though she’s not real.

i thought maybe accepting im a lesbian would help but no. i still don’t have the urge for anything. i don’t have kinks or nothing. i hear about people and their hookups and FWB and i just roll my eyes. like i’ve never wanted sex with someone just for the sake of having sex or because it felt good. i’ve only wanted it with people who made me feel seen and cared for. if it’s not that im completely checked out.

i really want to see a therapist that specializes in this sort of stuff but i can’t due to personal reasons. i have no one to talk to.

reddit.com
u/Dependent_Frame2738 — 13 days ago

i want to preface this by saying im not shaming anyone for what they’re into. we have different wants and needs. i’m finding it difficult to be a part of lesbian spaces online because they’re very sexual most of the time kink/bdsm is not my cup of tea and i definitely cringe at the word “mommy”. those things make me feel unsafe which is not how i want to feel during sex. finding a partner has been a struggling because im too vanilla or boring for everyone. sex to me is repulsive without emotional connection and without that i can’t enjoy it. even on dating apps sexual compatibility gets brought up too fast and i understand that’s very important but at least ask me about my day before telling me about what you like in bed.

all this makes me feel like i can’t even be a lesbian because it seems to be a huge part of the community, at least online. i know im attracted to women but that’s it’s. i haven’t found anyone that is the same

reddit.com
u/Dependent_Frame2738 — 13 days ago