u/Dependent_Crew5302

So me and my partner have been together a year, and we see each other around every other week because they live 3-4 hours away. We’ve always texted a whole lot and we chat all day and do calls sometimes. Sometimes they get busy with family and stuff which I totally get and also I’m happy that they pursue their hobbies and stuff.

But a few days ago we had a fight, I feel like our first one bc usually we just have discussions and it left us both feeling a little hurt. We’ve both forgiven each other and talked about it and it’s resolved. I’m still feeling a little hurt from it and they’re still a little upset, but even so I try my best to show them I still care and everything is going to be ok.

But the last few days, especially yesterday we have not spoken as much as usual. We talked back and forth a couple times for like 5 minute intervals but besides that I had to wait around 2 hours and at one point 5 for a reply. I checked in and asked if they maybe wanted space and they said no and that they had just been cleaning /playing minecraft/off the phone.

It’s been days of this.

Usually we’re so inseparable and text nonstop all day. I’ve never pushed this on them they just like to talk to me.

I’m just so used to our good morning chats and our updates throughout the day (annoying coworkers, celebrity drama, etc). Now there’s barely any back and forth. We still have some back and forth but it’s like maybe twice a day and for not very long.

It was such a sudden change. And I miss them, texting is all we really have of each other when we don’t see each other.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind if they’re gone for a while and doing their hobbies or whatever they get up to it’s just the very change.

I haven’t raised any concerns with them because I’m not sure if they just want space and I want to respect them. But I’m starting to get scared they’re starting to push away, maybe for good.

Should I be worried?

Last year my partner and I went to have a cherry blossom picnic and it was past peak bloom so the trees were a little sparse. I told them I wanted us to come back next year during peak bloom season so we can see them at their most beautiful. Since then i’ve been consistently mentioning it and the past few weeks and how excited I am. And they seemed to acknowledge it and be excited too. Last week I told them peak bloom would this week or next.

For context they live a 3 hour commute away, and there’s no cherry blossoms near where they live. Sometimes it’s hard for them to see me because the commute is hard on them and their parents give them a hard time for coming to see me bc they don’t approve of gay relationships.

They couldn’t come this week to come see me bc they had a lot of stuff to do which included commuting so it was hard on them.

So I was like ok and told them peak bloom would likely last until next week. But then they asked if they could get back to me because they’re so tired from this week.

I feel bad I don’t want them to be tired, but on the other hand this has been something i’ve been talking about and planning for an entire year. And i wanted to do something special and it was really special to me. I told them that and that it meant a lot to me and I got really upset because they told me they didn’t realize how important it was. And I didn’t feel very heard because of how much I talked to them about it. And now something i’ve been excited for and planning for over a year is not happening.

I told them if it were the other way around i’d do it for them and they said: “if it were the other way around I wouldn’t be acting like this” and at that point I just said I was sorry. And i do feel bad for getting upset and crashing out. Because they said they keep telling me they’re tired and i’m not like getting it kind of?

I’m still feeling really sad about it, and I’m feeling like i’m in the wrong and that i’m overreacting. But part of me still feels like it’s not fair.

AITAH?