Warning about hiring caretakers for elderly patients – please read
I want to share my experience so others can be more careful when hiring caretakers, especially for elderly patients recovering from serious illness.
My father was recovering from a heart condition and had become physically weak after hospitalisation. We needed a caretaker, so I hired someone through an acquaintance. He claimed to have 12+ years of experience and initially came across as very polite, well-spoken, and attentive.
For the first few days, everything seemed fine. He was responsive and appeared to take good care of my father, which built trust. Looking back, I strongly feel this “good behaviour” was deliberate – just to win trust so I would lower my guard. He even mentioned at one point that I pay more attention than most families, which now feels like he was assessing how closely he was being monitored.
But slowly, things started to feel off.
- Questionable medical advice
He began giving advice that directly contradicted the physiotherapist:
He said my father should not walk much, while the physiotherapist insisted on walking
He said we should not get a walker, claiming it’s “not for recovering patients”
He limited him to mostly bed-based exercises
Since he kept insisting he had handled many patients, it created confusion and doubt.
- Advance payment + behaviour change
He then came up with a story that his brother had an accident and asked for an advance. After taking the money, his behaviour changed noticeably:
Became less attentive
Stopped responding properly to my father’s needs
Became careless about responsibilities
In hindsight, it also felt like he may have already secured another job and stopped caring, assuming he could leave anytime without consequences.
- Negligence with critical care
One serious issue was the oxygen concentrator:
He would say he had changed it, but hadn’t actually done it
This is not a small thing – it directly affects the patient’s health. When confronted, he would brush it off or lie.
- Deliberate disrespectful behaviour
After I scolded him for negligence, the next morning he left a used diaper on my bed. This did not feel accidental – it felt intentional and hostile.
- Inappropriate and uncomfortable behaviour
He complimented my appearance in a way that made me uncomfortable
Asked personal questions like whether I had someone in my life
Later tried to cover it by saying “you are like my sister”
This was completely unprofessional and crossed boundaries.
- Dishonesty and misuse of patient’s food
I strongly suspect he was consuming my father’s food. One incident I caught:
He said my father had already had his buttermilk
The glass was empty, and my father (who was drowsy) didn’t remember
When I reacted, he immediately backtracked.
- Avoiding work deliberately
At one point, he even started fake coughing frequently. It felt like a tactic so I would avoid letting him near my father and end up doing most of the work myself. I was trying hard to find a replacement then.
- Financial audacity
When I finally asked him to leave:
He still had advance money with him
Yet he asked for ₹500 more
When I said I would record him, he said he would record me back (for no valid reason)
- Missing items
After he left, I noticed small things like socks missing. I cannot prove it, but combined with everything else, it raised concerns.
After sharing this with a friend, I realised this isn’t an isolated case. In another instance:
A bedridden brain surgery patient was being verbally abused by a caretaker
CCTV later revealed the caretaker was also eating the patient’s food
These patients are often weak, delirious, or unable to communicate properly, which makes them extremely vulnerable.
One thing that stood out: this caretaker himself mentioned that most working families don’t monitor elderly patients closely due to busy schedules. That mindset itself is dangerous because it creates opportunity for neglect or abuse.
Precautions I strongly recommend:
Avoid giving advance payments
Install CCTV cameras wherever possible
Cross-check any medical advice with doctors/physiotherapists
Don’t rely on one person entirely – involve multiple family members
Pay attention to small behavioural changes
Act early if something feels off
Not all caretakers are like this, but please don’t assume good intent just because someone speaks well or seems experienced initially.
Elderly patients are extremely vulnerable. It’s better to be cautious than regret later.