I’m working on a song and I’m aiming for that teen pop / emotional but detached vibe
I would really appreciate feedback from other songwriters.
Does it feel relatable?
Anything sound awkward, too forced, or not hitting?
I’m especially unsure about:
Be as honest as you want !! :)
I (18f) was having a pretty normal and funny conversation with my mum about the future like where i might live after uni, what job i want and if i want kids one day. Somehow the conversation turned into her saying that she would want to move in with me when she’s older so i can take care of her, and she said it really casually like it was just expected.
For context, I come from a single parent, religious household. I am also the oldest of three, so in our culture it's normal for parents to move in with their oldest when they get older, so from her perspective this isn't something you question.
I didn't really know how to react at first, but i told her that i don't really see that happening and that i would want my own space to build my own environment, and that i'd always support and be there for her but i wouldn't want her to live with me full time. She went quiet and said she sacrificed a lot from me growing up and through i would "return that" by looking after her in that way. this made me feel really guilty because i very much do appreciate everything that she's done for me and i don''t want her to feel like i'm ungrateful.
Part of the reason i feel this way is because of the lifestyle differences that i don't really know how to explain to her without hurting her feelings. We're a muslim family, and i try to follow that quite closely, especially thinking about the kind of environment i'd want myself to be in, my mum smokes hookah pretty regularly and has done since i was a kid, so it's always been part of her routine. I've never really said anything about it, but she knows i'm not comfortable having it around me or my future kids, especially in the home.
When i was younger, I actually try to bring it up to her, but it didn't go well. She got defensive and yelled, saying it's her life and no one is forcing her to do it so we should just turn a blind eye. after that I kind of stopped mentioning it altogether. it’s gotten to the point where it’s affected how we even sit together as a family. we have a sitting room connected to the kitchen and no dining table, so we usually eat on the couch while watching tv. but whenever she’s smoking in there, I just take my food and go upstairs to my room to eat instead. It feels antisocial and i feel bad about it, but i don’t feel comfortable staying there.
Because of that, the idea of her eventually moving in with me feels even more overwhelming. i didn’t fully explain all of this to her because i don’t know how to say it without it sounding like i’m criticising her, so from her perspective it probably just sounded like i was rejecting her for no real reason. Since we had that conversation she’s been distant and i know she’s hurt. i don't feel as bad, i was just being honest about what i want for my future and setting a boundary now instead of promising something i can’t give.