u/Defiant-Snow5803

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So during my clinical rotations at ENT , I really liked this one doctor. He was really kind, encouraging and gave great feedback.

I am thinking of adding him on LinkedIn but I am not sure. I don't want to be the weird girl. I've added people before, but those were either my mentor(attending)or residents I was close with. He was just one preceptor I stood with for 2 days.

I finished my rotation there so I probably won't see him for a couple months till I come back for the next one.

Salam alaikum girls (a bit long, but needed),

I need some dire advice. But first a bit of backstory. I still live at home and won't be able to move out till I finish my studies in 1.5 years insha Allah.

I have lived my whole life with a horrible mother. She is extremely narcissistic as well as borderline. And has made life living hell for me, my siblings and my dad. She has extreme fits of rage where she does not stop screaming, crying, breaking stuff, saying she will kill herself or us sometimes. And even the littlest of things can trigger these fits. The last time was when I didn't call her when she wanted to eat dinner and we ate without her. ( she usually eats after us, so I figured she would call herself). That was literally the most horrible evening of my life. She even acted as if she were possessed by a jinn.

She is a practicing Muslim. Prays, fasts, etc. Just a really bad person. She does not observe hijab and doesn't want us to wear hijab either. I have tried to broach the subject a couple times but it never ended well. I remember when I was 16 and told her I didn't want to wear skinny jeans anymore, she called me a terrorist and threatened to take my phone away. She is obsessed with us looking beautiful (narcissism)

Three years ago, I made the decision to secretly wear hijab to my university as it is in another city and I commute there. So I would say I'm a part time hijabi. She would definitely kick me to curb if she found out and make life even worse for my little brother and poor dad.

1 year ago I started my clinical rotations in my home town and I obv do not wear hijab there because my mom would find out. However, that meant that some of my fellow classmates who only ever knew me as a hijabi would see my hair uncovered at the hospital.

It has been extremely humiliating every time.. I just feel so exposed, judged and bad.

I have had contact with two sheiks and they assured me that I am not sinful for not observing hijab because of my mother. At least till I am able to move out insha Allah. I wish I knew this before starting in secret

It saddens me that my relationship with hijab has gotten quite bad. Sneaking around with hijabs in your schoolbag, always afraid of your mom looking into your bag and finding them. ( I hide them at my cousins house when I don't have classes and only rotation) Putting it on and off when you are out of sight of your house and just the anxiety and stress of my classmates seeing my uncovered during rotations. It's a humiliation ritual. I have started to project all those negative feelings on the hjiab.

Now the thing I have been struggling with. I don't want to worsen my feelings about the hijab. That's why I am contemplating to stop wearing it all together, even at university. I want to wait till I am able to wear it freely/proudly without any fear and anxiety. Because this is just not working. I have begun to hate going to school, just because of the sneaking/hijab hassle. I am living a double life.

I have two options and I need help/advice. I have six weeks of classes left before my next rotations and then some random days I have to come back. It's also almost summer, so I won't be able to wear a jacket+hat and put on my hijab in the toilet at uni (what I do during the winter months). I now have to hide in the bushes across from my house again.

So I either stop wearing it now and then all my classmates will see my hair: wonder and judge me, even ask questions. That also gives me a lot of anxiety. Especially the ones in my study group, most have never seen my hair.

Or I soldier through these six weeks and take it off when I don't have classes anymore. Mind you, I still have to go to university but then for research and exams. I will be there almost everyday for 6 months, so I will probably still see a lot of people. And when I graduate, my mom will be there unfortunately, so I would HAVE to uncover. Then everyone would know as well. Though, I would never have to see anyone again.

Please give me advice. I need it so much, I feel lost and anxious. I wish I never put it on three years ago and waited till I was free. Though I am grateful for the protection and experiences it gave me. Hijab is beautiful. I just felt so strongly about it back then. The humiliation of having to cover and uncover. Classmates seeing my hair at the hospital, but when we're back in class the hijab is back on. But the thought of putting it off now and EVERYONE seeing and judging me is also killing me. Should I do it now and rip the band aid off or wait till classes are done.

​

Salam alaikum girls (a bit long, but needed),

I need some dire advice. But first a bit of backstory. I still live at home and won't be able to move out till I finish my studies in 1.5 years insha Allah.

I have lived my whole life with a horrible mother. She is extremely narcissistic as well as borderline. And has made life living hell for me, my siblings and my dad. She has extreme fits of rage where she does not stop screaming, crying, breaking stuff, saying she will kill herself or us sometimes. And even the littlest of things can trigger these fits. The last time was when I didn't call her when she wanted to eat dinner and we ate without her. ( she usually eats after us, so I figured she would call herself). That was literally the most horrible evening of my life. She even acted as if she were possessed by a jinn.

She is a practicing Muslim. Prays, fasts, etc. Just a really bad person. She does not observe hijab and doesn't want us to wear hijab either. I have tried to broach the subject a couple times but it never ended well. I remember when I was 16 and told her I didn't want to wear skinny jeans anymore, she called me a terrorist and threatened to take my phone away. She is obsessed with us looking beautiful (narcissism)

Three years ago, I made the decision to secretly wear hijab to my university as it is in another city and I commute there. So I would say I'm a part time hijabi. She would definitely kick me to curb if she found out and make life even worse for my little brother and poor dad.

1 year ago I started my clinical rotations in my home town and I obv do not wear hijab there because my mom would find out. However, that meant that some of my fellow classmates who only ever knew me as a hijabi would see my hair uncovered at the hospital.

It has been extremely humiliating every time.. I just feel so exposed, judged and bad.

I have had contact with two sheiks and they assured me that I am not sinful for not observing hijab because of my mother. At least till I am able to move out insha Allah. I wish I knew this before starting in secret

It saddens me that my relationship with hijab has gotten quite bad. Sneaking around with hijabs in your schoolbag, always afraid of your mom looking into your bag and finding them. ( I hide them at my cousins house when I don't have classes and only rotation) Putting it on and off when you are out of sight of your house and just the anxiety and stress of my classmates seeing my uncovered during rotations. It's a humiliation ritual. I have started to project all those negative feelings on the hjiab.

Now the thing I have been struggling with. I don't want to worsen my feelings about the hijab. That's why I am contemplating to stop wearing it all together, even at university. I want to wait till I am able to wear it freely/proudly without any fear and anxiety. Because this is just not working. I have begun to hate going to school, just because of the sneaking/hijab hassle. I am living a double life.

I have two options and I need help/advice. I have six weeks of classes left before my next rotations and then some random days I have to come back. It's also almost summer, so I won't be able to wear a jacket+hat and put on my hijab in the toilet at uni (what I do during the winter months). I now have to hide in the bushes across from my house again.

So I either stop wearing it now and then all my classmates will see my hair: wonder and judge me, even ask questions. That also gives me a lot of anxiety. Especially the ones in my study group, most have never seen my hair.

Or I soldier through these six weeks and take it off when I don't have classes anymore. Mind you, I still have to go to university but then for research and exams. I will be there almost everyday for 6 months, so I will probably still see a lot of people. And when I graduate, my mom will be there unfortunately, so I would HAVE to uncover. Then everyone would know as well. Though, I would never have to see anyone again.

Please give me advice. I need it so much, I feel lost and anxious. I wish I never put it on three years ago and waited till I was free. Though I am grateful for the protection and experiences it gave me. Hijab is beautiful. I just felt so strongly about it back then. The humiliation of having to cover and uncover. Classmates seeing my hair at the hospital, but when we're back in class the hijab is back on. But the thought of putting it off now and EVERYONE seeing and judging me is also killing me. Should I do it now and rip the band aid off or wait till classes are done.