I scored 150+ as a kid. Developed clinical depression, CPTSD, chronic Insomnia, BPD and HPPD since then.
I did another Test last year when I was in a psych ward and got 122.
So by IQ alone I'm not gifted anymore. I know that IQ isn't the ultimate determinator, that's it's normal to score lower on these tests while in active Depression and that all of this is kinda dumb but I still can't entirely get rid of the feeling that I'm not *fully* myself.
Don't get me wrong my "giftedness" isn't my whole identity but it was a part of it and now every time i slightly struggle with something that needs thinking or do something wrong I have a voice in the back of my head asking if that would've happened before or telling me that Im dumb and an impostor now. It's also absolutely possible that I'm just not gifted anymore, my insomnia started before I became a teenager and wasn't treated so it definitely has affected my development somewhat and HPPD also affects cognitive abilities eventho it's not fully understood how, also did a lot of drugs in high doses for a while hence the HPPD.
I probably should just not care about it at all, I mean it changes nothing about how I'm living right now but I can't get that fucking voice out of my head.
Anyone have experience with something like this?