u/Decent-Nobody3285 — reddlx

My husband confessed when drunk that he has feminization kink. Could it be more?

I am well aware of the difference between feminization kink and being a transgender person. But is there any chance it is more than a kink? Could it be a sign of something more? This past few months, everytime he got drunk he started crying saying stuff like...

*I don t even know if I am man or woman*, *In bed, I imagine I am your woman*, *I have discovered this.. kink of mine... I wanted to share it with you but I know you don t have such kinks... and it feels risky because our life is so perfect and you are my wife and best friend and I want you to know I would never feel like our life isn t perfect just because of a kink.* or * I will never give up on you because of a kink*. Even yelled *I am a man!* when drunk and barely able to move.

But he was so sad and started crying and he was ashamed...

He caught our teen son playing with make up (he got a challenge from his friends), but he didn t know that... and he got so scared and immediately told our son to wipe that stuff off his face. This attitude was SOOO unlike him. Apparently he was afraid our son is like him.

I love him so much... I just want him to be happy, but I cannot tell if he is in denial or if he only views this transformation into a woman as a sexual game. The only words he ever used to describe this situation is *kinky*. Reads about it? *It is really kinky*. Thinks about it? Gets turned on. Talks about it? He is ashamed due to having the *kink*.

What are the chances of it being a kink alone?

reddit.com

u/Decent-Nobody3285 — 2 days ago

▲ 1 r/takemysurvey

Conditions - +18 years old

- have experienced romantic break-ups

-have experienced pelvic floor symptoms after a break-up

u/Decent-Nobody3285 — 14 days ago

▲ 18 r/vaginismus+2 crossposts

Who else went through this?

I used to be a very sexual person. Spontaneous sex. Orgasms. Great lubrication. You know, I functioned just fine. Then I went through a really tough break-up, and things like libido loss and poor lubrication due to stress and anxiety are just normal. Let s not pathologize sadness.

However, a few months after the break up, my ex found someone else. I was ruined by the news. Ruined. Done. Therefooooore... I tried having sex with someone to feel more in control of my life and to force myself to move on once and for all.

And guess what? Painful as hell. Not only was it painful as hell, but it got progressively worse each time I had sex with someone who wasn t my ex. And I got scared. This isn t me - I said to myself. But it got to be me... I was diagnosed with vaginismus. And I was also asked by ONLY ONE DOCTOR if I miss my ex, because he thought that was relevant. And it was.

I went through pelvic floor therapy and psychotherapy, I even started dating a guy I really like (now we are engaged!!!! yey!) and I got better because my mind and soul got better. Vaginismus involves the mind a lot. However, vaginismus saved me because it showed me that I can t hide from my emotions, I can t run away from pain, I can t escape it with casual sex, I can t play pretent to feel safe and at home when I don t feel it.

Some people who were ab*sed develop it. Trauma gets stored in our bodies.

I want to study break-ups and psychological vulnerabilities, the effect of abandonment.

How about break ups? I am studying it for my BA thesis, and if you resonate with this, please help me out... All confidential. And only 5 minutes. https://forms.gle/JYwTXAteH5khFXJ87

u/Decent-Nobody3285 — 14 days ago