u/Dazzling_Librarian35

Hi everyone.

I have been in a long distance relationship for about 3 years now. I moved a state away for college. We see each other quite often due to breaks and it’s a 6 hour drive which is doable once a month. Distance has been great to us. It’s given us time to work on ourselves and our interests as well as develop our communication skills. Imagining the light at the end of the tunnel gave me some motivation to stick it out.

Recently he got into med school. This means another 4 years of long distance (state school is the best financially by A LOT). I absolutely cannot move back. I hate where we are from. I know I could not be happy there and it’s something I really do not want to budge on. It might sound bad to some people, but I know my mental health would plummet if I moved back and in turn destroy our relationship anyways.

I’m now struggling so hard deciding what to do. I know I could not do 4 years of medical school apart. It’s also important to note that I have a job lined up post grad at an amazing company in my current city. The city where we are from does not have the same opportunities and going there would stunt my career. It’s obvious that staying in our respective cities is the best choice for both of us. I just do not know where that leaves us.

I love him a lot and he’s genuinely a great guy. He’s my first and only boyfriend so I am so attached to him. I also am worried I will resent him if I stay in a long distance relationship for my young adult life. (18-25). I love living life (hiking, going to bars, trying basically anything new) and being apart inhibits all of these things I want to do with my partner. I talked to current med students and they talk about how maintaining relationships is already such a struggle, and I assumed that means long distance would be that much harder. I do have a very fulfilled life outside of him, but still a boyfriend is different from friends. I’ve always said I wish I met my bf later in life so I could experience everything that being young entails and then settle down with him at like 25. Of course life isn’t perfect and I have to choose, but I’m struggling.

Does anyone have any opinions? The thought of letting some great years of my life being half happy makes me sick. Not being with him also makes me sick. He told me he would be open to getting back together if we find each other again but thats just what people say

Hi everyone.

I have been in a long distance relationship for about 3 years now. I moved a state away for college. We see each other quite often due to breaks and it’s a 6 hour drive which is doable once a month. Distance has been great to us. It’s given us time to work on ourselves and our interests as well as develop our communication skills. Imagining the light at the end of the tunnel gave me some motivation to stick it out.

Recently he got into med school. This means another 4 years of long distance (state school is the best financially by A LOT). I absolutely cannot move back. I hate where we are from. I know I could not be happy there and it’s something I really do not want to budge on. It might sound bad to some people, but I know my mental health would plummet if I moved back and in turn destroy our relationship anyways.

I’m now struggling so hard deciding what to do. I know I could not do 4 years of medical school apart. It’s also important to note that I have a job lined up post grad at an amazing company in my current city. The city where we are from does not have the same opportunities and going there would stunt my career. It’s obvious that staying in our respective cities is the best choice for both of us. I just do not know where that leaves us.

I love him a lot and he’s genuinely a great guy. He’s my first and only boyfriend so I am so attached to him. I also am worried I will resent him if I stay in a long distance relationship for my young adult life. (18-25). I love living life (hiking, going to bars, trying basically anything new) and being apart inhibits all of these things I want to do with my partner. I talked to current med students and they talk about how maintaining relationships is already such a struggle, and I assumed that means long distance would be that much harder. I do have a very fulfilled life outside of him, but still a boyfriend is different from friends. I’ve always said I wish I met my bf later in life so I could experience everything that being young entails and then settle down with him at like 25. Of course life isn’t perfect and I have to choose, but I’m struggling.

Does anyone have any opinions? The thought of letting some great years of my life being half happy makes me sick. Not being with him also makes me sick. He told me he would be open to getting back together if we find each other again but thats just what people say.