u/Dabananaman69

I found this reel on instagram that had background music of a jamaican singing a parody I think? The reel creator said the name of the song was Small dick man by the Silly slides but I can't seem to find that title anywhere. I don't even know if it's restricted in my country or by my isp because I tried using a vpn to random places of the globe and still couldn't find it anywhere.

The reel. I can't find her account on tiktok either and when I click on the link in her bio it says cannot connect to server? 🤔

Asking this here because I’ve already tried asking my friends and their answer is always the same so I’m looking for a fresh perspective.

I’ve had a crush on this girl I met who joined our online friend group playing games. She’s 23 and I’m 24. We both have jobs but she works as a teacher at a private school about 2 hours away from where I live. Now I respond to her texts within a few hours if not immediately no matter what I’m doing. But she takes days to reply sometimes even weeks or months. It’s going to be close to a year now since we first met and we’re still talking like we just met. It honestly drives me insane but she did explain recently that sometimes she can’t stand looking at her phone because she’ll just see all the work that’s piled up for her from classes and exams and quizzes and stuff. I guess I should take that as her not ignoring me specifically but trying to avoid extra work at school.

Now my friends have told me to stop texting her but she’s really pretty and she’s never been in a relationship before. I also like her sense of humour and even though we don’t share the same interests I find some of her interests interesting. She’s really heavy into anime and she’s the main reason why I started watching it at all in the first place. I do want to talk to her all about it but she’s too busy to reply. I’m too shy to tell her about all the interesting things I did for her.

There was a time when I did get really fed up of the cycle of late replies and left for a while but she kept replying to me in voice notes each time I sent a text. This went on for months and I ended up asking her about it and she said it was easier than texting. So that just left me confused because I thought she just wanted the attention.

Yesterday I changed my profile pic for the first time since she’s seen it to an actual picture of my face (she has seen me before from pictures from our friends group chat) and I complimented her new profile pic but she just said thanks and didn’t say anything about mine.

Now I’m just confused again because it makes me think she’s uninterested no matter what I do. I had this radical idea of confessing to her how I’ve been feeling all this time but I’m too scared to tell her. My friend wing manned at the start and asked her if she likes me to which she said yes but said that I had to tell her first. Which I didn’t do because of her late replies and now I’m wondering if she’s just waiting for me to make the first move or not?

Her texts seem friendly and nothing suggestive but she’s also too busy to reply consecutively for me to get a clear answer if she’s interested or not and she mostly goes out of her way to text me because nobody from my friend group texts her anymore because of the late replies. I think she is a nice genuine person but I am so lost on what I should do.

Some days this feeling just gets so overwhelming to the point where I can't keep it inside anymore. I'm so tired of living like this, yet it's better than the alternative of not living at all. I was just trying to get ready for work today where I knew I'd have to smile and put on a desperate show of confidence for my coworkers all day. And reality just hit me in the gut knowing how none of my so called "friends" bothered to check up on me or even say hi unless they wanted something. Looking at all of their stories and statuses and the numerous unanswered texts they haven't read from me. Thinking about all of this made me break out silently while whispering to myself to stop it because I didn't want to be late for work. I can't even give myself time to grieve properly lol.