u/Cygnus_Sanguine

After coming home from the Navy almost half a year ago, I've come to appreciate Fresno and embrace it as home. Sure, I did leave home in the first place because I hated basically everything about my life, but during my time in the Navy (mainly towards the tail end of my contract) I realized me leaving barely had anything to do with Fresno at all

Maybe it's because I romanticize everything now and I have a love for RPGs like Morrowind- I accept the world, and my personal world for what it is and there's something special about where you're from and what you vould learn from it.

I love going for longwalks under the dry sun, seeing families set up shop selling food, the occasional cowboy on horseback, the Mexican-American style of some homes, the greenery mixed with dead weeds, and the vibe of a simple life

Why the title is relevant is because a couple weeks ago; i won't lie, my friend who i grew up with was frustrating the hell out of me when we went to LA. Whenever we spoke to people, he would describe Fresno as this post apocalyptic hell hole akin to Fallout. Constant crime, pure desert, and littering everywhere. He's only right about one thing mention, in my opinion. We were even in Compton to visit his friend and he was talking about how Compton was way better to look at than Fresno. We also stayed in Downtown La during our stay btw

I don't want this to be a vent and I don't want it to sound like I hate my friend, but the reason we were in LA in the first place was for an anime convention of sorts. Like, I get it. Fresno doesn't have that much to do and you REALLY have to dig and be in the know for meetups and events. But what makes the events in LA better than in a small town (that's the size of a city) like Fresno besides the scale and attendance?

I doubt the majority of mankind lives and love living in these grand cities you see in the movies. It's the equivalent of beautiful people on social media. Your feed doesn't reflect reality. You aren't meant to see that many people irl and I'm sure most people live in "nothing to do" towns and are living just fine.

Fresno may not have the opportunities I seek for my desired career, but i will always represent it

Yesterday I was finally able to jog 2 miles straight without any prior or recent running. I began to run out of oxygen but my heart rate returned to normal rather quickly

I never had good running genetics growing up. I loved running but never grew consistent with it and was always slower and less enduring than the average person. I loved the idea of running but was never good at it

But recently, I've been walking 5-7 miles everyday for almost a month and yesterday, I decided to finally jog my usual route and was able to reach 2 miles without any pain in my legs and my heart rate returned to normal pretty fast

I'm actually impressed that I was able to do this despite just only having walking at 3 mph for 5-7 miles everyday as part of my "training"

Just how much does your stamina and conditioning improve just from walking?

So I'm someone who has always been fascinated with metaphysics and philosophy and I enjoy seeking out different lines of thinking, even if they make me uncomfortable

I think Clavicular is such an interesting case. This does have something to do with Determinism, but i do legitimately think we are all victims to our circumstances.

Now, am I saying that because I think Determinism exists, that rules out Free Will? No, of course not. I believe both are compatible. But it's obvious that no matter who you are, you are shaped by your surroundings and experiences.

From a male perspective, there are certain expectations you are given by society. Some of these expectations conflict with others, but I want to focus on the blackpill and redpill

Now, when I say that Clavicular is a victim, I don't mean to conflate the word "victim" to mean innocent, or can do no wrong, or is not at fault for anything. Blackpill and Redpill content, and societal expectations for young men to get laid and put their self worth into being accepted in certain social circles and by women, are thriving. Which is why you see many young boys make these dude bros famous. I don't think any sensible person would give money or attention to these guys except vulnerable and down on their luck boys/men

Again, I'm not dismissing all the bad things he's done, but I'm just pointing out that, from a male perspective, we either have to play into or ignore what is expected of us. You either rot, try to meet expectations, or try to make yourself better as a human being in general. Choose your cope. You can be justifiably angry at the world, but what are you gonna do about it?

If anything, I believe the existence of Determinism strengthens Free Will; it uplifts it even higher. It makes human achievement even more grand and impressive.

Our ancestors could've been justifiably pissed at the gods for famine, ash storms, plague, and many other natural disasters, but instead, they played into their strengths and what they can control and a few thousand humans turned into several billion.

So I was doing the quest for Cass where you need to gather evidence or kill the Silver Rush, and i was getting quickly overwhelmed by their firepower. Whenever I fight them, they quickly pick up the Plasma Caster and melt me

So I get the genius idea to sneak and snatch the thing before I activate the dialogue choice (refusing to betray Cass) to start the fight, and I didn't lose karma

There have times where I've stolen and I've lost karma. I stole a Doctor's Bag from that dude who killed a hooker in his room during the Omerta quest to get rid of the leaders

Why does theft sometimes proc karma loss, while other times it doesn't