u/Crechum

I was wondering if anyone else feels this way.

I've always been butch. Even when I thought I was a boy. In fact that's probably part of why I think I convinced myself I was a boy for so long, I've just kinda always been more masculine.

Don't get me wrong, I love being trans. Being a woman is the best thing ever. I've gotten infinitely more comfortable with my masculinity since. I love who I am and the body I have. I love being ginormous and having broad shoulders. Hell I wanna be the tallest buffest woman there is.

But at the same time, I feel like I'm constantly walking an impossible tightrope. I see lots of our siblings talking about passing as their chosen gender, gods I envy that. I can't get gendered correctly for the life of me. I don't even care if people see me as a trans woman, just see me as a woman. I hate always being read as boy. But at the same time I don't wanna femme up just to pass. That feels inauthentic and not who I am. Never being seen as a woman causes me so much dysphoria, but being someone I'm not just to be treated correctly by society feels just as bad.

I'm not really asking for advice, though it wouldn't be out of place. Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this before?

I can't stand the thought of ever touching a pussy. I know many cis lesbians have them, but they're just so icky. I'm such a supportive ally to the cis. Some of my best friends are cis.

Many years ago a cis woman assaulted me with her r*pe cave and since then I've just found them disgusting. I'd never date a woman with one. I'm just not comfortable around "women" with one. Even just seeing one at the lesbian meetup had me walking away crying.

Tell me that I'm a good one even though I have wildly unexamined biases against a whole section of people.

/uj- Also I'm totally ignoring people that have had bottom surgery, as these posts always do