Im 32F and my parents have been actively trying to find a guy through these matrimonial apps. So what they do is, they send out the interest themselves and then whoever accepts, they ask me to talk to them. This has been going on since forever and it has completely drained me. To an extent that I am averse with the idea of marriage now. Ive asked them to remove caste filters or maybe share their profiles with me first and if I say yes then only reach out to them but no. They think Im not capable enough to pick the right person. Even if I send out the interest, they say that let us talk first and then only you should talk to the guy. It’s so f***ing stupid. They don’t understand that they cant force their choice on me. I’ve talked to atleast 20 such guys because of their coercion but not once they felt like a match. Now they blame me for my indecisiveness and rejections. Over that I prefer DINK lifestyle so they again say stuff like “people will run away if they will listen to your stance on this and you will die alone” or “why do you even wanna get married if you don’t want kids?”. These questions are so bizarre that I don’t even want to fight over it with them. They even tell me to not disclose this to a guy and tell him that you don’t want kids only after getting married. Honestly, this orthodox thinking is just breaking me, one day at a time. Worst thing is that there is no one in my family to support me or take a stand for me and they think Im a complete weirdo. They dont even see that these things are so normalised. Something as basic as talking to a guy directly. And when by chance I find the guy compatible and if at all things dont work out as expected, they bring another 2-3 guys in a jiffy as if it’s some quick fix. They dont even let me process a rejection. I genuinely feel so burnt out these days. I wish therapy could help here but even that aint helping.
u/Costanza_lady
Hi, I am a 32 F working in HR at a tech startup currently. I’m here with the intention of finding a meaningful, long-term connection that can lead to marriage. From a family perspective, I’m expected to connect with someone from the Hindu Rajput community (family criteria). Personally, I value emotional compatibility, mutual respect, and a sense of ease with each other over anything else.
I would describe myself as someone who enjoys a balanced life. I love playing guitar, listening to all kinds of music (from mellow to experimental), sketching, watching documentaries, and going on solo trips whenever I can. I’m slightly introverted but warm once I’m comfortable, and I appreciate deep conversations over small talk. Physically, I’m 5’6”, lean built, around 54 kgs, and I like staying active and working out (even if not very consistently). I believe in DINK lifestyle so would prefer someone who does not want kids in future. Reason being: I dont wanna bring up a child who has to survive in polluted air, adulterated food and water scarcity.
I’m looking for someone who is kind, emotionally mature, and clear about wanting a committed relationship. Ideally, someone who is at least 5’8” or taller and values both independence and partnership. A good sense of humor, open-mindedness, and the ability to communicate honestly would mean a lot. Ultimately, I’m hoping to find someone with whom things feel natural, effortless, and real.