please hatulan nyo tong kwento ko 😔 Looking for makakausap ngayon gabi about sa current situation ko. For context, about s'ya sa away namin ng friend ko and i need unbiased opinions/judgment from people that don't know us.
You can also share your problem and ask for hatol or kahit advice from me, I'm down i like getting into other ppl's bizz 😁✌🏼 SFW lang please hmuuuu
(correction on the title: we've been friends for 8 years, roommates for 2)
I want to start by giving the context of what started it all. I apologize for any grammatical error or confusing narration, I'm non native to English and i really just want to get this off my chest. I need outside opinions.
We are roommates in university. 3 weeks ago, there was a mandate for universities to shift the classes online because of the ongoing war (the gas prices). Our university often doesn't follow through and still conduct on-site classes, which depends on the faculty.
At first, we both had cleared schedules for Thursday and Friday so she invited me to come home with her to her hometown (this was Tuesday). I'm really hesitant with this since I'm not really comfortable with staying at other people's houses (she knows it) and she's also aware that i have a virtual presentation during Friday morning. She convinced me over and over again and said i could even present in her room, all i need to do is just say yes.
Now i have to say, she's the type of person that gets really mad and difficult when things don't go her way. Like when i don't say yes to her, we'd get into a long argument and she'd bring up all the things i did that seemed wrong to her. It genuinely puts me off focus and i usually just say yes because it really affects our dynamics as roommates. But I have to admit, she really does have attitude issues. I think she's also self aware because she told me, she's impressed by how long we've been friends since not many people are able to stay friends with her because of this.
So I said yes, but I made it clear that I will only go home with her if no changes to my schedule occur. She said it's fine as long as I'm going. She started planning all these activities we'd do. At this point, i was already having anxiety because i can feel that something related to friday WILL change.
By Thursday, I was at the library and got an email from my professor that the presentation will be held onsite since everyone in our class was available. I immediately informed her of this (entire detail and even apologized) since i thought it was a very important thing to tell her, then turned me on DND mode since I was studying.
After like 3 hours, I went back to our dorm and i didn't remember i was on DND. My phone also wouldn't turn on, this has been an issue for quite a while since it was a hand-me-down and she knows this well. I have difficulties in communicating online because of this. So I sat on my corner and turned on my laptop and favorite show (offline) and watched, thinking this was a reward for studying. Like 20 mins later, she burst in the room, all mad and basically giving me a cold treatment. She wouldn't look me in the eyes and just glaring at my set up and murmuring while fixing her stuff. I apologized to her about the change of schedule and explained that that was very important to me and that we even talked about this before.
And i want to make it clear that my message DID send and she read it.
When she finally decided to talk, she just kept saying "If you don't want to come, just fucking say it" and something about how I'm purposely trying to ignore her all the time and just giving her false hope.
I thought this was really irrational of her since we did have a deal but I just kept apologizing and explaining that my phone broke and it's the only device i have the messaging app on (she already knows all of this). But she's not hearing me out, like she always doesn't. She always never hears me out and even mocks me when I explain my side. She just silently (but madly) left the room and went home.
It's been 3 weeks now, we still haven't talked. I apologized to her on messages but she ignored me. She's pretending like I don't exist. Now i feel like i already did my part and just looked like an idiot chasing after her, especially because she's not even making an effort to meet me in the middle. She's posting stuff on social media about bad friends and fake people. Everyone knows how tight knit we are, we are basically each other's only friend so i know it's all for me. She started reconnecting with all the old "friends" she talked badly about, to me and posting everything with cryptic captions about fake friends lol
Now that we're not talking, all the memories of her treating me badly and me just letting it all pass are crossing my mind and I'm realizing that we are indeed kinda toxic. Like how she'd "jokingly" call my major useless and futureless. Looking down on people from my college and saying it's nothing related to me since I'm "exempted" because I'm her friend (i honestly don't think that's how it works). All the subtle implications of her looking down on me are hitting me in the head like a brick. I feel like I've been degraded for so long.
As one of my friends (who don't know her) said, she's like a controlling boyfriend or that we're like in a toxic relationship. And i'm the one who just takes it and does everything to please. Now I'm thinking that maybe, it is the best for me (and the both of us) to move on and mature individually. I just can't believe this is all happening when we already had plans of moving out to a new room, together. She convinced me to end my contact with our current dorm and kept convincing me to join her in looking for a new space. And yeah, i did agree and now, i don't know what's going to happen to us with the current situation. I'm already looking for my own place, but deep down, I'm still waiting for some kind of closure.
I need advice on what to do, it doesn't have to be related to reconciliation. Is it best to just move on?